When the list of foods I can’t eat is far longer than the ones I can, it is inconvenient to prepare food for me. Especially when you’re also preparing food to everyone else. In the beginning I would just say “I’ll bring my own food, don’t worry about me.” thinking that would make it better, easier, remove my inconvenience.

But at the same time, I also removed the ability for that other person to show me love and care in the way they wanted to. Food is such a central part to showing love in so many cultures. And by trying to not inconvenience someone by having them make a separate dish for me, well...I removed myself from that culture of love.

This is where holding multiple truths at the same time has made a big difference for me.

Truth #1 - I am an inconvenience at holiday dinners.

Truth #2 - Other people get to decide what care costs them.

Letting others decide what care costs them doesn’t make it easier.

It just makes it honest.

And I don’t try to make it anything else.

It’s not panic. Not urgency.

It’s a slow-burning, wide-lens kind of dread.

The kind that doesn’t come from one breaking story—but from all of them, layered and compounding until your nervous system stops registering them as separate events and just folds them into one long, aching exhale.

And honestly? That might be the scariest part.

Not the laws. Not the violence. Not the unchecked hate.

But the fact that I’m already bracing less when it hits.

That the heartbreak is starting to feel familiar.

That the body learns how to flinch in silence.

⸻

I don’t need to list the headlines. You already know.

The bans. The rollbacks. The erasures.

The steady unraveling of rights that were never guaranteed to begin with—but that we wanted to believe were safe.

For women. For trans and queer folks. For immigrants. For anyone with a marginalized body or politic or voice.

And while much of it is happening in the United States, I don’t feel separate from it.

I feel proximal. Vulnerable. Exposed.

Because ideologies don’t stop at borders.

And the systems that allow this kind of dehumanization?

They’re not uniquely American.

They are present here, too—louder than we’d like to admit.

⸻

There’s this quiet myth in Canadian culture—this belief that we’re not like them. That we’re more progressive, more peaceful, more safe.

But safety isn’t guaranteed by policy. It’s shaped by culture.

And I’m watching the culture shift. Subtly. Repeatedly. Violently.

I’ve been seeing it in real time.

The anti-trans rhetoric.

The creeping presence of far-right language.

The normalization of cruelty in the name of “debate.”

It’s here. It’s spreading.

And if you’re feeling it too—not just intellectually, but in your body—you’re not imagining it. You’re not being dramatic. You’re paying attention.

⸻

What I’m noticing in myself—and in a lot of the people I work with—is this unbearable tension between wanting to act and feeling too overwhelmed to move.

That’s not apathy. That’s shutdown.

We are not desensitized because we don’t care.

We’re desensitized because we’ve been hit with too much, too fast, with too little recovery time in between.

And the systems that benefit from our powerlessness?

They’re counting on that.

⸻

So I’m not writing this with answers.

I’m writing it to say:

Stay scared. Stay awake. Stay human.

I don’t want to numb out.

I don’t want to normalize this.

I don’t want to treat policy as background noise or treat other people’s rights as political chess pieces.

I want to feel the weight of this moment.

I want to stay connected to my own humanity while this world keeps trying to crush it.

And I want to stay connected to yours, too.

If you’re feeling the fault line—don’t collapse alone.

Name the fear. Let it shake you.

And let that shaking remind you that you’re still alive, still feeling, still here.

Let’s not make numb our baseline.

Let’s not confuse burnout for disconnection.

Let’s hold this fear together.

We don’t need to feel brave to stay awake.

We just need to not be alone.

What to Do When You’re ‘Fine’ but Not Okay

I’ve noticed something about the word “fine.” It rolls off our tongues so easily, almost like a reflex—automatic, unremarkable. It’s a comfortable shield we raise when we’re not ready to look too closely at what’s happening underneath. “I’m fine” might as well be code for, “Let’s not go there.” But sometimes, “I’m fine” is more than just a social buffe. It’s a red flag, a signal that our inner world is more complex than the word suggests. And often, for those who are high-achieving or deeply empathetic, “fine” is less of a temperature check and more of a defense mechanism. One that can signal a quiet descent into burnout.

When “I’m Fine” Is Just Code for “I’m Numb”: Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Burnout and Disconnection

As someone who has worked in high-stress environments, I’ve seen both ends of the burnout spectrum. The type that crashes down like a wave, and the one that seeps in quietly, like fog settling over your life. The quiet kind often slips in under the guise of “I’m fine.” It happens when we’ve learned to tolerate discomfort or emotional overload without really processing it. We convince ourselves that everything is okay because we’ve grown accustomed to coping, to being functional. Even while feeling drained or disconnected. Sometimes, “fine” becomes the placeholder that allows us to avoid our own truths.

What to Do When You’re ‘Fine’ but Not Okay

If you’ve ever found yourself saying “I’m fine” but feeling a hollow ring echoing back, you’re not alone. In fact, this experience is quite common, especially among those who take pride in their resilience and ability to “push through.” The trouble is that sometimes, that resilience looks like numbness. We’re no longer engaging with life so much as going through the motions, like we’re living behind a layer of glass that mutes everything we feel. We can easily mistake this for being “fine,” when really, we’re quietly disconnecting from ourselves.

So how do we tell when “I’m fine” is actually code for “I’m numb?”. Here are some things to consider and ways to gently challenge that feeling of “fine” to see what’s really going on beneath the surface.

Step 1: Start by Noticing the Pattern

One of the best ways to spot when “I’m fine” is actually “I’m numb” is to notice how often you use it. If you’re regularly brushing off concerns, sidestepping conversations about your well-being, or answering “How are you?” with “fine” even when the question comes from people who genuinely care, it’s worth pausing. Patterns speak volumes. When “fine” becomes the default, it’s often a signal that something deeper needs attention.

I’ve seen this firsthand in my own life and with clients who, like me, work in roles that demand emotional resilience. For example, when I was working in the ICU, “fine” became a way to keep going when I felt like I didn’t have the luxury to acknowledge what was really happening inside. It felt easier, safer even, to push my feelings aside. But those feelings didn’t disappear; they just piled up. Over time, “fine” became the mask I wore, and eventually, I started to lose touch with what was real for me. I was functional, but I wasn’t connected—not to myself, and not fully to the people around me.

Step 2: Check for Signs of Emotional Exhaustion or Physical Numbness

One of the most telling signs of burnout-related numbness is a kind of emotional exhaustion that’s hard to pinpoint. If you’re finding that even things you used to care deeply about feel like a chore, it’s worth asking whether “I’m fine” is actually masking something else. Numbness often starts as a protective mechanism, a way to avoid the uncomfortable feelings we can’t handle in the moment. But if it goes unacknowledged, it can spread, dulling our reactions to everything—both the good and the bad.

Physical signs can also be a big indicator. Do you feel lethargic, physically heavy, or disconnected from your body? Often, numbness doesn’t just live in our minds; it shows up in our bodies, too. When we’re disconnected emotionally, our bodies can feel disconnected as well. Lethargic, tense, or even strangely painless, like we’re not fully inhabiting ourselves.

Take a moment to check in with yourself physically. Sometimes, just noticing the way we’re carrying ourselves or the tension in our bodies can reveal truths we’ve been trying to ignore. When I’m “fine” but really numb, I notice my jaw is often clenched, and my body feels braced. Like it’s waiting for the next hit. By checking in with your body, you might catch clues that your mind is skimming over.

Step 3: Gently Challenge Your “Fine”

If you’re beginning to suspect that “I’m fine” might be a form of self-protection, try gently challenging that assumption. What if “fine” is really “I’m too tired to explain,” or “I don’t want to be a burden,” or even “I don’t know how I feel, so I’ll just say I’m fine”?

Exploring that can be tricky, especially if you’re used to operating on autopilot. But just getting curious about “fine” can be a first step toward reconnecting with yourself. Ask yourself questions like:

• When was the last time I felt truly engaged or excited?

• Is there anything in my life that feels unbalanced or overwhelming?

• How do I feel when I think about doing something restful versus something productive?

• Do I feel like I’m taking care of my own needs, or am I just keeping up with responsibilities?

You don’t need to have the answers right away. Even just asking can bring a new level of awareness to the quiet signals we often miss.

Step 4: Take Small Steps Toward Feeling Again

If you recognize that “I’m fine” is just a surface-level response, start by taking small steps toward feeling more. You don’t have to dive into the deep end of your emotions. Sometimes, a gentle approach is exactly what we need. Engage in activities that encourage reconnection.

For example, moving your body with intention. Whether it’s through yoga, stretching, or even walking slowly—can help bring you back into yourself. Mindful practices that incorporate breathwork or grounding exercises can also be wonderful tools. These practices can help us feel safe enough to lower our defenses and reconnect to the emotions we’ve been holding at bay.

In my own life, I’ve found that intentionally creating space to feel. Whether through journaling, yoga, or simply allowing myself to sit in silence—can open up the door to emotions I didn’t even realize were there. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s a step toward reconnecting with the parts of me that “fine” tried to cover up.

Step 5: Give Yourself Permission to Be “Not Fine”

Here’s the thing about “I’m fine”: it’s often easier than saying, “I’m struggling.” But there’s freedom in allowing ourselves to be “not fine,” to be honest about where we’re at—even if it’s just with ourselves at first. Often, the scariest part about letting go of “fine” is the fear that if we admit we’re not okay. It will somehow make everything feel worse. But in my experience, the opposite is true. When we allow ourselves to name our true feelings, we make room for the support, compassion, and care we actually need.

If you’re feeling disconnected, take this as a gentle invitation to explore what might lie beneath “fine.” Are there moments where numbness has crept in? Is there a feeling or an unmet need that you’ve been avoiding? Giving yourself permission to be “not fine” is a courageous act, one that can ultimately lead you to a more genuine connection with yourself and those around you.

Recognizing that “fine” might mean “numb” doesn’t mean you’re broken or failing. It simply means you’re human. If this resonates with you, consider it a sign that you’re ready for a small course correction—one that can bring a sense of clarity and connection back into your life, one gentle step at a time.

There’s no need to overhaul everything at once; instead, focus on re-engaging with the little things that make you feel alive. Because you deserve more than “fine.” You deserve a life where you’re fully here, present, and connected to yourself in every way.

Redefining success for burnout recovery

It’s a strange moment when you realize that the very thing you’ve been striving for is the thing that’s chipping away at you. Success, for many, is the shining light at the end of a long, demanding tunnel. But for those of us who’ve been walking through that tunnel for what feels like forever, it might be time to pause and ask ourselves a simple, yet transformative question. Is my definition of success still serving me?

How Would You Define Success?

For years, my own idea of success was a heavy list of accomplishments. A ladder that didn’t seem to end. I’d been groomed to believe that success meant reaching specific milestones: titles, achievements, recognition. But if I’m being honest, I never really asked myself if that was my definition of success—or one I’d unconsciously inherited. After all, there’s a certain comfort in following a well-worn path. Even when it leads somewhere you don’t necessarily want to be.

But I started to question that definition in a way I couldn’t ignore anymore. Especially when my health began to unravel. I remember lying in bed, feeling my body’s weight like a lead blanket, and thinking, This can’t be it. I had succeeded by every measure I’d been taught to value, yet here I was, physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and feeling completely detached from any joy in what I was doing. It was in that moment that I started asking myself if my idea of success was outdated, or even if it was mine at all.

Redefining Success for Burnout Recovery: The House of Success We Inherit

Imagine success as a house we’re all handed when we’re young. It’s fully furnished, decorated, and comes with a set of instructions: “This is how you will live; these are the rooms you’ll occupy.” For some, this house is big, full of expectations to always do more, be more. The rooms echo with reminders of what others expect: stability, power, recognition, wealth. We often move in without even questioning if this is the house we’d choose to build ourselves.

Growing up, I had my own “house of success” shaped by the people and cultures around me. In many ways, I had no reason to question it; everyone else seemed to live in similar houses. Yet, looking back, I realize I was simply moving through rooms I’d inherited rather than spaces I’d consciously chosen.

But there comes a time when the furniture starts feeling uncomfortable, the decorations outdated, or worse, the whole foundation starts to feel shaky. This is often where burnout begins—trying to maintain someone else’s version of success within a structure that doesn’t fit our needs.

A New Way to Look at Success

One day, while grappling with a chronic health flare-up, I realized that the vision of success I was clinging to required a level of energy and resilience I simply didn’t have. That moment brought a strange kind of clarity. What if success wasn’t about pushing until I was too exhausted to keep going? What if it was about finding a way to live that honored my limits, my strengths, and what I actually valued?

As a metaphor, let’s think of success like a garden. The type of garden you create depends on your climate, your soil, your resources, and your personal preferences. Some people thrive with meticulously pruned rose gardens, structured and curated. Others find joy in wildflower meadows that grow freely, adapting as nature dictates.

Success doesn’t have to look one way. For years, I was trying to grow roses in soil meant for wildflowers. And as you can imagine, I was left wondering why my roses never seemed to bloom like everyone else’s.

Reflecting on Your Own Garden of Success

If you’re feeling the weight of overwhelm or nearing burnout, maybe it’s time to check in with your garden. Here are some questions I started asking myself, and perhaps they’ll help you, too:

1. What actually feels meaningful to you? Success tied to your core values can feel grounding, even on challenging days. For me, I realized that supporting others and creating meaningful change felt deeply rewarding, but not in the way I’d imagined. I didn’t need the traditional markers of success to know I was making an impact.

2. How do you want to feel when you succeed? Often, we’re so focused on the outcomes that we don’t consider the feelings associated with them. Does success feel peaceful, or does it feel like running a marathon you can never finish?

3. Are there parts of your success vision that you’re carrying just because others told you to? We’re often surrounded by people’s expectations, and it’s easy to adopt them as our own. Try setting down what doesn’t serve you and notice how it feels.

4. Is your success sustainable? If you’re running on fumes or constantly sacrificing your well-being, that’s a clear signal something needs to change. Success should build you up, not break you down.

Redefining Success for Burnout Recovery on Your Terms

Redefining success doesn’t mean throwing away all that you’ve worked for. It’s more like swapping out parts of the furniture in that house, or maybe even tearing down a wall or two to open up new possibilities.

Sometimes, it’s helpful to visualize this process as a gentle remodeling project. Rather than feeling pressured to overhaul everything at once, start by changing one room. Maybe you take that “productivity” room and reframe it with ideas around joy and fulfillment. It doesn’t mean you stop being productive; it just means you make space for moments that recharge you, too.

Finding Clarity in Small Steps to Redefining Success for Burnout Recovery

Redefining success doesn’t mean overnight change. Sometimes, it’s as small as letting yourself celebrate a quiet victory—a mindful decision, a small boundary set, or a day where you listened to your body’s needs. For me, learning to listen to myself instead of forcing myself to meet arbitrary standards was like planting those first wildflower seeds. Small, almost unnoticeable, but over time they started to bloom in ways that felt natural and fulfilling.

Success as a Feeling, Not a Finish Line

As I’ve evolved my own definition, I’ve noticed that success, for me, has less to do with milestones and more to do with a sense of alignment. When I check in with myself and feel at peace with my choices, that’s success. When I help others navigate their challenges and see them find hope again, that’s success. My garden doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s, and neither does yours.

Success isn’t a one-size-fits-all destination; it’s a journey shaped by the choices you make and the values you hold dear. Whether you’re just planting the seeds or are well on your way, remember that your garden is yours to cultivate. And if the roses don’t bloom, maybe it’s time to let the wildflowers grow instead.

Modern signs of fight flight freeze and fawn.

I think it’s really important to recognize what the modern signs of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn look like. We often hear about them spoken of in their primal forms (what our stress response was initially designed for). But our modern day stressors don’t go away, do they?

Sometimes it feels like we’re all living on high alert, as if the stakes are life-or-death when all we’re doing is trying to make it through the day. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. So many of us live in a kind of constant survival mode without even realizing it.

There’s a reason for this. Buried deep in our bodies is a stress switch—a part of us that’s designed to flick “on” when we’re in danger. When we’re genuinely at risk, this response is crucial. But somewhere along the way, many of us end up with that stress switch jammed in the “on” position, making every day feel like an emergency. And instead of realizing this as unusual, we start thinking it’s normal to be on edge all the time. But here’s a hint—it’s not.

Let’s explore what modern-day fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses look like. Recognizing these can help us start to understand why we’re so tired, even if we’re “just” sitting at a desk.

Fight Mode: Armoring Up for Battle

When I think of fight mode in the modern day, I picture someone with a shield and sword, ready to defend themselves at the drop of a hat. Except, instead of medieval armor, it might look like someone snapping at their partner over a harmless comment, or a person getting defensive during a work meeting because they feel criticized. It’s that constant sense of “I have to protect myself,” even if there’s no visible threat.

Once, I had a friend who couldn’t stand when people doubted her abilities. She’d go out of her way to prove herself—even when no one asked for proof. She was “fighting” against an invisible opponent, always trying to be ready to “win.” This drained her more than she realized. Her mind never rested because it was too busy staying alert for the next challenge, even in her downtime. She later realized that she was in fight mode, but instead of saving her energy for actual battles, she was spending it in tiny, unnecessary defenses every day.

Flight Mode: Running from Shadows

Flight mode is less about physically running and more about avoiding what feels overwhelming. I used to work with someone who could never seem to start a big project. She’d organize her desk, write and rewrite lists, or suddenly “need” a coffee break. In her mind, she was being productive. But in reality, she was running away from the project itself.

In modern-day life, flight mode can look like constantly staying busy as a way to avoid what feels big and scary. It could be a conversation we’re dreading, a responsibility we’re not sure we can handle, or even just a nagging feeling that we’re not where we want to be in life. We don’t have to physically leave the room to be in flight mode; our minds and hearts can be trying to escape, leaving us mentally “checked out” even if our body is right there. And while it feels like we’re getting away from stress, this kind of avoidance keeps us running, burning through our energy.

Modern Signs of Fight Flight Freeze and Fawn – Freeze Mode: Stuck in Place

Freeze mode is like being on the verge of action but never quite moving forward. I had a client that needed to make a decision to make about their career that felt huge. They spent hours—days—trying to weigh the pros and cons. They felt trapped in this endless loop, unable to make a choice, as if moving forward in any direction might end badly. Once we worked to re-regulate their nervous system with the Restore Program they were able to make a decision that aligned with what they wanted for their life, and ultimately worked out beautifully for them.

Many of us end up in freeze mode when life feels too big or uncertain. We end up in “analysis paralysis,” overthinking every little thing because we’re afraid of choosing wrong. It’s like pressing the “pause” button, but without any sense of relief. We’re frozen not because we’re resting, but because we’re unsure, and our energy ends up sapped by the endless decision-making that goes nowhere.

Fawn Mode: Pleasing to Keep the Peace

Fawn mode is probably the most subtle of these responses. It’s the need to smooth things over and keep everyone happy, even at the cost of our own well-being. I remember a time when I was so afraid of disappointing others that I’d say “yes” to almost anything. Even if I was already stretched thin, I’d still go out of my way to help others or agree to plans, because the thought of someone being upset with me was worse than the stress I was piling onto myself.

If you’ve ever felt this way—like it’s your job to make everyone else comfortable—you’ve likely been in fawn mode. The tricky part is, this people-pleasing takes a toll on our energy reserves, leaving little for ourselves. And over time, we start to lose touch with our own needs, focused instead on making sure everyone else is okay.

Modern Signs of Fight Flight Freeze and Fawn: The “Stress Switch” That Never Flips Off

Imagine a light switch stuck in the “on” position. At first, it might not be a big deal. But as the days go by, that constant light starts to wear out the bulb. In our case, the “light” is our energy and focus, which can’t sustain itself if we’re always in a heightened state. Our body’s stress response system wasn’t designed to stay on forever—it’s meant for quick bursts of energy to help us survive. But in today’s world, we often leave that switch on, without even realizing it.

When our body remains in this alert mode, stress hormones like cortisol stay in our system, keeping us “on” even when there’s no real threat. Instead of bringing clarity or sharpness, this constant state of stress leaves us feeling foggy and worn out. It’s the reason why you might feel tired all the time, even if you’re getting enough sleep, or why focusing on simple tasks can feel like climbing a mountain.

Why This “On” Mode Isn’t Sustainable

Imagine trying to drive a car without ever stopping to fill up the gas tank or take a rest. Eventually, something’s going to give. Living with our stress switch always on is just like that—it pushes us to the brink without any room to refuel or slow down. We might be surviving, but we’re not thriving. Constantly being “on” isn’t normal, and it’s not something our bodies can sustain long-term. If you’re feeling burned out, always on edge, or just plain tired, it could be a sign that your stress switch has been flipped on for too long.

Modern Signs of Fight Flight Freeze and Fawn: Taking the First Step

If any of this resonates with you, you’re not alone. These stress responses are deeply human, and they show up for all of us in different ways. The key is to notice them, get curious about what’s driving them, and start taking small steps to care for yourself in the process.

One way to begin is by understanding your own stress patterns more deeply. I’ve put together a quick quiz that can help you identify your default self-sabotage style—and how to start making gentle course corrections to get yourself out of that sabotaging frame of mind.

You can take the quiz here.

Why is it hard to stay consistent with yoga practice? Let’s talk about it

I’ve been thinking a lot about how yoga can feel so inviting yet oddly elusive at the same time. You roll out your mat, stretch out your body, and for a moment, it feels like you’ve unlocked something—calm, connection, maybe even clarity. And yet, staying consistent with yoga practice? That’s the tricky part, right?

I get it because I’ve been there too. For years, yoga has part of my daily life, but not in the way you’d think. I was teaching, guiding others through poses, alignment cues, and even the deeper philosophical teachings of the yamas and niyamas. It looked like consistency from the outside. But the truth? My personal practice had quietly slipped into the background.

And that’s where I want to start—because if you’ve ever felt like staying consistent with yoga is hard, there’s a good reason for it.

Why Consistency Feels Elusive

Here’s the thing: we often approach yoga like a checklist. We hear about the benefits—less stress, more flexibility, that magical sense of balance—and think, I should do this every day. And maybe we start strong, fueled by motivation or the promise of transformation. But over time, life creeps in. Work deadlines, family obligations, and let’s be honest, some days just feel too heavy to even think about unrolling the mat.

It’s not just about time, though. The real challenge is deeper. Yoga, at its core, isn’t just about physical poses; it’s about creating space for self-inquiry, stillness, and connection. That’s not always easy to face, especially when life feels chaotic.

For me, consistency became even harder when I was teaching. My focus was on guiding others, not on my own practice. I was showing others how to connect with the yamas and niyamas, but I wasn’t giving myself the time to embody those principles. And that’s where I realized something big:

The foundation matters.

The Missing Foundation: Why the Yamas and Niyamas Come First

If you’ve ever felt like yoga isn’t “sticking,” it might be because you’re trying to build without a foundation. Think of the yamas and niyamas as the blueprint for your practice. They’re not about what happens on the mat; they’re about how you show up in your life—with compassion, honesty, discipline, and contentment.

For a long time, I skimmed over this part. I’d teach the yamas and niyamas in my classes, using them as reminders for students to be kind to themselves (ahimsa) or to honor their truth (satya). But I wasn’t giving myself the space to explore what these principles meant in my own body and life.

When I finally slowed down and let the yamas and niyamas guide my practice, something shifted. Suddenly, asana (the poses) wasn’t just about physical movement—it became a reflection of the values I was embodying off the mat.

For example:

• Ahimsa (non-violence) became gentleness with myself on days when my energy was low.

• Santosha (contentment) taught me to accept where my body was, instead of pushing for more.

• Tapas (discipline) helped me find small, sustainable ways to show up consistently, without burning out.

And here’s what surprised me: when my practice started from this foundation, it didn’t feel like a chore. It felt like coming home.

Teaching vs. Embodying: The Gap I Had to Cross

I think one of the reasons it’s hard to stay consistent with yoga practice is because we’re often focused on the external. Whether it’s following along with a class or chasing a particular pose, the attention is on the “doing.”

That was definitely true for me as a teacher. My energy was spent creating space for others—watching alignment, planning sequences, ensuring students felt safe and supported. But while I was helping others embody the practice, I wasn’t giving myself the same space.

There’s a big difference between teaching and embodying yoga. One is about giving; the other is about receiving. And to stay consistent, we need that balance.

Reconnecting With the “Why” in Why Is it Hard to Stay Consistent with Yoga Practice

If you’re struggling to stay consistent, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: Why am I practicing yoga?

It’s easy to get caught up in the idea that we “should” practice daily or that yoga has to look a certain way. But yoga isn’t about perfect attendance or nailing a headstand. It’s about creating a space where you can reconnect with yourself, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

When I reconnected with the “why,” I realized that my practice didn’t have to be elaborate. Some days, it was a few gentle stretches paired with a deep breath. Other days, it was simply sitting with a principle like ahimsa and noticing how it showed up in my interactions.

That’s the beauty of yoga—it meets you where you are.

How the Restore Program Bridges the Gap

This journey back to the foundations of yoga is what inspired the Restore Program in the Creating Calm app. I wanted to create something that helped people connect with the yamas and niyamas in a way that felt practical and approachable.

The program is designed to guide you through 13 weeks of exploring these teachings, starting with self-awareness and moving through principles like mindful boundaries, emotional grounding, and reconnecting with what matters.

Each week focuses on gentle, actionable steps—whether it’s a reflection prompt, a mini meditation, or a way to bring these principles into your day-to-day life. It’s not about overhauling your life; it’s about small course corrections that add up to big shifts.

For me, this approach transformed my practice from something I “should” do into something I wanted to do. And that’s what I hope for you, too.

Finding Your Own Flow – Why is it Hard to Stay Consistent with Yoga Practice

At the end of the day, staying consistent with yoga practice isn’t about willpower or discipline. It’s about finding what makes the practice meaningful for you.

Maybe that means exploring the yamas and niyamas as a foundation. Maybe it’s allowing your practice to be imperfect or letting it evolve with you. Whatever it looks like, the most important thing is this: show up for yourself in a way that feels authentic and sustainable.

For me, that’s been the biggest lesson. Yoga isn’t just about poses—it’s about how we move through life. And when you start with that foundation, consistency becomes less of a struggle and more of a natural rhythm.

7 Subtle Signs of Burnout in High Achievers: Why It Doesn’t Always Feel Like “Burnout”

I used to think burnout was loud. I imagined it was this dramatic collapse—burnt-out shells of people slumped over their desks, teary-eyed and barely able to function. Don’t get me wrong, burnout can look exactly like that and it’s what one of my experiences of burnout looked like for me. But what I’ve come to realize, both personally and in conversations with so many others, is that burnout often creeps up like a whisper. It’s not necessarily the big breakdown; it’s the quiet, constant hum of exhaustion, like the static you only notice once the room is silent. It’s in the way you wake up feeling like your tank is somehow already empty, and yet you keep going because, on the outside, nothing is overtly wrong.

This version of burnout doesn’t scream for attention. Instead, it slips into your life almost invisibly, embedded in your day-to-day, so gradual you hardly notice it until you’re deep in it. In fact, the quiet burnout can be so subtle that it doesn’t even register as burnout—because it doesn’t match the “classic” idea of exhaustion or depletion. It doesn’t feel like total breakdown; it feels more like the slow, consistent drain of fulfillment, energy, and even joy.

Let’s dive into the signs of this quiet burnout—signs you might not even recognize as burnout at all. My hope is to help you tune into these subtleties, to notice the quieter ways burnout shows up in your life and to remind you that burnout isn’t always about how much you do; it’s about how you feel.

1. The Loss of Enthusiasm for Things You Once Loved

If there was a time when you genuinely enjoyed the work or routines in your life, burnout can be like a slow eraser, gradually removing the color and excitement. You may not hate these things—maybe it’s just that they don’t light you up the way they used to. It can feel like you’re just going through the motions. Imagine it like an artist who used to paint in vivid colors but is now working in shades of gray. Nothing is outwardly “bad,” but it’s also not nourishing or inspiring.

This might show up as declining invitations to things you once looked forward to or feeling unmotivated to engage in hobbies you once loved. You might write it off as just “not in the mood” or think, “Maybe I’m just getting older.” But if it feels like a pattern, it might be worth asking if burnout has seeped in and dimmed that enthusiasm.

2. An Unexplainable Low-Level Irritability

There’s this edge you feel—this sense of irritability that isn’t tied to any specific situation or person. You may snap at minor things, things that wouldn’t normally bother you. Maybe your patience has worn thin, and you find yourself being curt with loved ones or coworkers, even if you don’t fully understand why.

This constant irritability isn’t because you’re angry; it’s because your emotional resources are being depleted, almost invisibly. Imagine carrying a bucket that’s slowly leaking water. You don’t notice at first, but after a while, that depletion makes you feel uneasy, on edge, and irritable without any major reason.

3. Feeling Like You’re Always “On” Even When You’re Not

This one might be familiar if you’ve found yourself constantly “switched on,” even during downtime. Maybe it feels like your brain is constantly cycling through to-do lists, worrying over the smallest details, or replaying conversations. You might find yourself scrolling endlessly on your phone, thinking it’s relaxation, but in reality, your mind is still in that “on” mode, always alert, never truly resting.

This can be especially deceiving because we often think that if we’re not working, we’re relaxing. But “being off” requires mental rest as much as physical, and the constant low-level tension doesn’t allow your brain to truly power down.

4. The Inability to Imagine a “Better” Future

When burnout is this quiet, it often doesn’t feel like you’re at rock bottom. It’s more like you’ve hit a low, flat place where you don’t necessarily feel awful, but you don’t feel excited or hopeful either. You may not even be aware of it until you realize you can’t quite picture things getting better. When asked about your future, you may respond with a shrug or a vague, “I don’t know.” It’s as though the energy to dream or imagine something more fulfilling is missing.

This absence of hopefulness, this inability to imagine a better or brighter future, isn’t because you lack creativity or goals—it’s because burnout has made even hope feel like too much work.

5. Apathy Toward Your Own Needs – 7 Subtle Signs of Burnout in High Achievers

Self-care sounds nice, but it can also start to feel irrelevant. You know you “should” do things for yourself. Like taking a walk, cook a good meal, or even get more sleep—but it feels hard to care. Your own needs may fall to the bottom of your priorities list, almost as if you’re invisible to yourself.

It’s a kind of indifference to your own well-being. Maybe you dismiss that voice that tells you to slow down, to listen to what your body is trying to say. And the more you ignore it, the quieter that voice gets, until it’s just another background hum.

6. Everything Starts to Feel Like a Chore

At a certain point, even the things that aren’t particularly hard or time-consuming begin to feel exhausting. It’s as though every task, no matter how small, requires a monumental amount of energy. You may feel like you’re constantly behind or that you’re barely keeping up. Even though, realistically, you’re managing just fine. The day-to-day routine feels heavy like you’re carrying a weighted blanket around.

This is often a sign that your reserves are low. Imagine it like a phone battery that drains much faster than it should because something is running in the background. You’re “charged,” technically, but not fully operational.

7. Constant Low-Level Physical Complaints

This quiet burnout can also show up in physical symptoms. It’s subtle, not the acute symptoms we might associate with severe burnout. It’s more like a low-level ache, fatigue, or frequent headaches. You might find that you’re just “off,” not sick exactly, but not well either. Our bodies often signal burnout long before we acknowledge it, and these small discomforts are worth noticing.

It’s your body whispering, trying to tell you it’s time to slow down or re-evaluate, even if it’s not shouting yet. Listening to these whispers early on can prevent the louder breakdown that might follow.

Why We Miss the 7 Subtle Signs of Burnout in High Achievers

The tricky thing about quiet burnout is that it doesn’t fit the typical narrative. It’s easy to brush these signs off, to convince ourselves that this is just “life” or that we’re just getting older. But burnout isn’t a natural consequence of living; it’s an indication that something in our daily lives isn’t sustainable.

One of the biggest reasons people miss the signs of quiet burnout is that it doesn’t feel “bad enough” to be worth addressing. If we’re still functioning, still showing up, still able to get through the day, we convince ourselves that we’re okay. We ignore the signs because, in a society that values productivity, burnout almost feels like a badge of honor. A sign we’ve been working hard, hustling, pushing ourselves. But the reality is that burnout isn’t a measure of how much we’re doing. It’s a measure of how well we’re able to cope with it.

If you recognize any of these signs in yourself, know that you don’t need to wait until you’re at a breaking point to take action. The quiet burnout is just as real as the loud one, and it deserves your attention. Start by giving yourself permission to feel these things, to acknowledge that exhaustion and depletion are valid, even if they’re not dramatic or disruptive.

Finding Your Way Back With the 7 Subtle Signs of Burnout in High Achievers

So, what does recovery look like when burnout is quiet? Sometimes, it’s as simple as creating intentional moments of rest—true rest, where you’re “off,” not just physically but mentally. This might mean learning to set boundaries with yourself and others, carving out space in your day to disconnect. It might mean giving yourself permission to dream, even if that dream is just a tiny glimmer of something better.

For me, I find that taking time to notice these signs, to acknowledge them without judgment, has been a game-changer. Instead of pushing myself harder or trying to “fix” everything all at once, I focus on making small adjustments that feel manageable, like making space to simply be present, even in those quiet, uncomfortable moments. Because the path back from burnout isn’t a sprint; it’s a gentle, steady course correction—choosing, over and over, to honor the signs before they turn into something louder.

If you’re experiencing quiet burnout, let this be a reminder. You don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to take a step toward healing. Start now, with small course corrections that feel possible. And remember, burnout doesn’t define you; it’s simply a signal that something needs attention. You deserve to feel whole, to feel joy, even in the most mundane parts of your day. Listen to those whispers 7 subtle signs of burnout in high achievers before they become roars.

How to find strength in uncertainty

I’ve been looking for a way for how to find strength in uncertainty, without invalidating my experience. For a long time, I believed that pushing through meant I was being strong, resilient, and grounded. In the ICU, that’s how I operated, holding onto that constant need for control amidst chaos. When I had to leave that career, a job that had defined so much of my identity, I encountered something that I didn’t expect: The Void.

This Void wasn’t just an absence of direction or motivation; it was a space that felt empty in a way that echoed. It felt like a missing part of myself. Back when I had part of my thyroid removed due to a tumor, I didn’t expect my body to regrow that lost piece. But I also hadn’t fully come to terms with what that scar symbolized—a constant reminder of the parts of me I couldn’t recover.

And now, standing at the edge of this new Void, I realized that I would need to accept that this too, represents a part of me that I could not recover.

As it Often Is, the First Step I Took Was Resistance

At first, I resisted. I felt myself wanting to push through, to fill the emptiness with something productive or purposeful. But every attempt felt hollow, like I was pouring water into a cracked vase—it didn’t matter how much I poured; it would all drain away. I realized that perhaps I wasn’t meant to fix or fill this space. Perhaps, like my scar, it was something I was meant to carry with me, not erase.

That felt very heavy. Didn’t want to have to carry this burden with me for the rest of my life! And I started to feel hope grow quieter until it was almost gone.

In moments like these, resolve isn’t the bright, blazing force of hope. It doesn’t sweep in with promises of better days or silver linings. Instead, resolve is a quiet companion that says, “Even if nothing changes, I will carry you through this.” There’s a stillness in resolve, a sense of being willing to hold the weight of whatever we feel, to walk through it step by step, even when the path isn’t clear.

How to Find Strength in Uncertainty: Sitting with The Void

The Void became something I learned to sit with. Didn’t try to understand it or conquer it; I just acknowledged it, like an old friend with whom words weren’t necessary. I started spending intentional time with it, no longer letting it linger at the edges of my awareness, waiting for me to give it attention. I realized that part of moving forward didn’t mean filling the emptiness but rather learning to coexist with it, allowing it to be part of my life without defining it.

The Void, for me, felt like the left side of my thyroid, a part of myself that wasn’t coming back. It had left a scar, a reminder that there are voids we can carry without needing to fix them. And the strangest thing happened—when I stopped fighting it, when I stopped trying to cover it with positivity or purpose, I began to feel lighter. Slowly, without any grand revelation or sudden shift, hope started to trickle back in, like drops of rain after a long drought.

This wasn’t the hope I’d known before. It was quieter, softer, like the sun peeking through after a storm. It didn’t promise to make everything okay, but it reminded me that life could continue with both beauty and pain coexisting. There was space for both, and I didn’t have to choose one over the other. Instead, I had to learn how to find strength in uncertainty.

A Path Forward Without Pushing Through

In our culture, we’re often taught to “push through,” to fight against whatever’s holding us back. But what I learned from The Void is that sometimes, pushing through isn’t the answer. Sometimes, the real strength lies in standing still, in letting the wave of discomfort wash over us and simply being with it.

Resolve is different from resilience. Resilience is about bouncing back, about returning to some version of ourselves we recognize. Resolve, though, is about moving forward even when we’re not sure what we’re moving toward. It’s the willingness to keep going, even if that means stepping into the unknown.

When hope quiets, resolve steps in, steady and unshakable. It’s not flashy or inspiring, but it’s enough. It’s the small, persistent voice that says, “Even if the path is unclear, I’ll walk beside you.” Resolve allows us to sit in the mess, to acknowledge the parts of ourselves that feel broken or empty, and to recognize that those parts don’t need to be fixed to be whole.

How to Find Strength in Uncertainty: Meeting Ourselves in the Quiet

The Void taught me a lesson that I couldn’t have learned any other way. It showed me that my strength didn’t come from my ability to keep pushing or to find immediate answers. It came from my willingness to sit with myself, to honor the quiet parts, and to accept that sometimes, the journey forward doesn’t involve constant action.

If you’re standing in your own void, if you feel like hope has grown quiet and you’re not sure what’s next, I want you to know that there is strength in simply being with yourself in this moment. You don’t have to push through. You don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes, just the willingness to keep going, even in the silence, is enough.

Embracing Both Hope and Resolve -How to Find Strength in Uncertainty

I no longer see The Void as something I need to conquer or fill. It’s simply a part of my journey. A reminder of the parts of me I’ve lost and the parts I’m still discovering. I carry it with me, along with the scar on my thyroid. As a testament to the things I’ve endured and the lessons I’ve learned. And, in some strange way, it has become a source of quiet strength—a place within me where both hope and resolve can coexist and understand how to find strength in uncertainty.

If you find yourself in this space, know that you’re not alone. There’s no need to rush through it or fill it with meaning before you’re ready. Let resolve hold you, let it guide you gently forward, and trust that in time, hope will return, soft and steady, like the light that shows up just before dawn.

My Dear Friend,

If you’re here, I know you’ve been carrying a weight that feels impossible to bear. You’re standing on that edge, feeling the ache of hope slipping away, and wondering what could possibly fill that void. I want you to know that I see you. I know that heaviness, the exhaustion that comes from holding on, and the frustration of watching things remain unchanged. You’re not alone in feeling the sadness, anger, or even resentment that comes when the path forward isn’t what you had imagined it would be.

It’s okay to feel this way. It’s okay to mourn the loss of the future you had hoped for, to sit with that sadness, and to honor the parts of you that yearn for something more, something different. That ache is real, and it deserves space to be acknowledged. But if you find yourself standing here with hope growing quiet, I want to share with you what has been true for me: sometimes, when hope fades, something else rises in its place. It’s something just as powerful, but in a different way.

From Hope to Resolve: A Story of Holding On and Letting Go

There’s a beauty to hope that can be intoxicating. It has a way of lifting you up, filling you with visions of what could be. But as much as we cling to hope, there are times when it can no longer carry the weight of reality. For me, that reality came with the loss of my ICU career.

In the years since that change, I’ve worked to find purpose in what I do now. And this work is incredibly meaningful—I get to help people in ways I never imagined. But no matter how fulfilling it is, it doesn’t fill that particular gap. The work I did in the ICU held a specific kind of urgency, a life-or-death intensity that can’t be replicated.

For a long time, I hoped I could reshape my path to somehow reclaim that feeling. I kept trying to mold my work now into something that could bridge that gap. But in the back of my mind, I always knew it wasn’t possible. And this year, as the anniversary approached, the reality of that truth hit me all at once.

At that moment, hope grew quiet. I could feel it slipping away, like the last note of a song fading into silence. And as I stood there, with no illusions left, I felt resolve rise in its place. It was a powerful shift, one I can’t quite put into a single word. It was a feeling of dusting myself off, of standing up tall, and of committing to keep going, even if things never change.

The Unnameable Feeling of Resolve

When resolve takes over, it’s not peaceful—not in the way we’re often taught peace feels. It’s a different kind of calm, like standing in the eye of a storm. It’s not about silence or softness. Comes in both calm and rage, quiet and crashing thunder, anger and acceptance. It’s the fierce knowledge that you can’t control the winds, but you’re going to stay planted in the ground, weathering whatever comes your way.

Resolve isn’t soft; it’s grounded. It has a weight to it, a rawness that feels like a reckoning. When you stand in that space, it’s as though you’ve laid down all the “what ifs” and “somedays” and taken up a commitment to live fully in the “now.” There’s an honesty to it, an acknowledgment that some gaps will never be filled, and yet, there’s an unbreakable strength in accepting that.

For those of us who have walked through immense challenges, hope is a familiar companion. She’s light and warm, a reminder of all the good that could be. But resolve—resolve is different. She’s not about what might change. She’s about being here, in this moment, fully embracing what is, with a fierce and unyielding determination. She doesn’t carry promises, but she carries you.

Finding Strength in Uncertainty

It’s hard to capture that feeling with one word. Resolve brings with it a sense of calm, but it’s not the sort that makes you feel safe or sheltered. Instead, it’s the kind of calm that feels like fire burning steadily in your chest, a commitment to stay strong, no matter what. It’s the energy of grit, of determination, of a promise you make to yourself that you’ll keep going forward, not because you’re waiting for things to improve, but because you know you have the strength to face whatever comes.

Resolve is the raw energy that steps in when hope can no longer bear the weight. She’s the quiet force that allows you to keep moving forward, not because you’re waiting for things to get better, but because you’re committed to showing up for yourself, no matter what. She’s that whisper in the back of your mind that says, “Even if nothing changes, I’ll carry you through.”

So if you’re standing at that edge, if hope is fading, know that resolve is ready to take her place. She’ll be there with you, steady and strong, helping you find meaning even when things don’t turn out the way you imagined. And in that space, you may find a new kind of freedom, a release from expectations and a groundedness in who you are.

One More Time

When resolve takes over, it’s not about changing the situation or waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about finding the strength within yourself to say, “One more time.” It’s about dusting yourself off and moving forward, even with the weight of uncertainty pressing down on you. Resolve allows you to carry on, to find purpose in each moment, and to create a life that holds meaning, no matter the circumstances.

You may find that this unnameable feeling—this quiet, raw energy—is exactly what you need. It won’t always feel easy, and it won’t always bring peace, but it will bring strength. And with that strength, you’ll carry on, one step at a time, through the quiet and the storm, the calm and the thunder, the anger and the acceptance.

So here’s to resolve, that fierce companion who rises up when hope grows quiet. She is your foundation, your grit, and your guide. Trust in her, and let her carry you through, even if nothing changes.

With strength and resolve,

Avery

Body mapping for emotional awareness

Sometimes, I feel like my body is carrying around little pieces of my past. Almost like bookmarks for emotions I haven’t fully processed. I never really noticed it until I started paying closer attention. I used to think emotions just lived in the mind, and that if I was anxious or stressed, it was just some kind of mental storm I had to wait out. But over time, I’ve realized there’s more to it. Our bodies—whether we notice it or not—can act as maps for our emotions, holding onto tension, sadness, or frustration in specific places.

For those of us who are highly sensitive high achievers, the weight of this can feel amplified. We might not have the bandwidth to let our emotions show up fully in the moment, so they settle in, hanging around in parts of the body that we forget to check in on. It might sound a bit abstract, but for me, learning to listen to my body and tune into where these emotions show up has been incredibly grounding. And no, it doesn’t require any belief in spirituality or new-age ideas. It’s just about noticing what’s there and giving it a chance to breathe.

Body Mapping for Emotional Awareness: My Experience with Emotions and the Body

Sadness and grief, I know, give me this heaviness in my chest. Feels almost like there was an invisible weight pressing down on my heart. And frustration? It would sit stubbornly in my throat. As if I had something to say but the words wouldn’t quite make it out. It became almost like a habit to check in with these parts of my body. Noticing where the emotions showed up and asking myself what might be going on underneath the surface.

As I’ve talked about before, I’m doing a lot of work with anger. I thought I had already processed my anger over not being physically capable of working as an ICU nurse anymore. But it turns out, I had only got angry at the chronic illness that prevents that from happening again. I never actually got angry at the injustice of not being able to do this important work that I’m mentally and emotionally capable of.

The tricky thing was, that I knew my repressed anger was somewhere in my body. But I didn’t know where.

I didn’t really connect the dots. Until one day, I realized my jaw was clenched so tight. In fact, that my teeth ached. Couldn’t quite figure it out, but then it clicked. I wasn’t just stressed. I was angry, and I was holding that anger right there in my jaw. Just like I had done as a kid when I had to swallow my feelings.

For me, this awareness has changed everything. It’s like having an early warning system that lets me catch emotions before they spiral. And even though it might seem a bit odd, there’s actually science behind this mind-body connection.

The Research Behind the Body-Emotion Connection

It turns out, I’m not alone in this. There’s a field of research showing that emotions can literally show up in specific areas of the body. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a psychologist who studies trauma, talks a lot about this in his book, The Body Keeps the Score. He explains how the body can end up carrying emotions we don’t process fully. Leading to tension, aches, or even chronic pain. When we suppress our feelings, the body takes on the job of holding them for us, often in ways we’re not even aware of.

One study from Aalto University in Finland explored this connection and actually mapped out where different emotions tend to show up in the body. The researchers found that anger and fear light up the upper body. While sadness brings a sense of numbness to the arms and legs. Happiness, on the other hand, creates warmth and energy in the chest. It’s fascinating—and validating—to see that these physical sensations aren’t just in our heads. They’re real, and they’re something we can work with.

And when it comes to working with these feelings, yoga has been a lifesaver for me. A study published in Complementary Therapies in Medicine found that regular yoga practice can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress. For me, yoga is like a bridge between my mind and body, helping me release tension I didn’t even know I was holding. It’s a physical practice that offers real, tangible results, without needing to subscribe to any spiritual beliefs. Just breath, movement, and noticing what’s there.

How Mapping Emotions Helps with Stress and Overwhelm

So why does this matter? Why should we even care where emotions live in the body? For me—and maybe for you, too. This awareness is a way to take charge of emotions before they take charge of me. If I can catch myself clenching my jaw, I know I need to pause and check in with my anger before it boils over. If my chest feels heavy, it’s a sign that maybe I need to give myself some space to grieve, even if I can’t fully process it all right then and there.

It’s like having a dashboard for my emotions. Instead of ignoring the signs and letting the stress build up until it feels unmanageable, I can tune in. Take stock, and address things one small piece at a time. I’ve found it’s especially helpful when I’m feeling overwhelmed. The act of simply placing a hand on my chest or stretching out my neck becomes an anchor, a way to pull myself back into the present moment.

This isn’t about finding a perfect solution or curing every ounce of stress. It’s about knowing that I have a toolkit I can turn to. And that’s something I’ve started sharing with my clients, too.

Using This Approach in Client Sessions

When I work with clients, I often start by guiding them through a simple body scan. We take a moment to settle in, focusing on each area of the body and noticing any tension, warmth, or other sensations. I might ask questions like, “Where do you feel that stress right now?” or “Do you notice any tightness?”. It’s a gentle invitation to connect with the body and see what emotions might be hanging out there. Just under the surface.

From there, we might move into some basic practices, focusing on areas where they feel the most tension. It’s not about forcing anyone to feel something they’re not ready for. It’s about creating a safe space where they can notice what’s happening in their bodies and begin to process it on their own terms. Over time, I’ve seen how this practice helps clients feel more grounded and less overwhelmed. They start to notice their own physical cues and take action before the emotions escalate. It’s a practical, no-nonsense approach that doesn’t require any belief in new-age ideas or spirituality. Just a willingness to tune into the body and listen.

Body Mapping for Emotional Awareness: Creating Your Own Map

For me, the body has become a map—a place where I can connect with emotions in a way that feels real and manageable. I’ve found that by listening to what my body has to say, I can catch stress before it becomes overwhelming, process grief in a way that feels safe, and even recognize when I need to pause and breathe. This isn’t about finding the “right” way to feel or even about solving all my problems. It’s about knowing that I have a grounding practice I can turn to—a practice that reminds me I’m here, I’m present, and I have what I need to handle whatever comes up.

For anyone who feels like emotions can be too much or too abstract, this approach to embodiment offers a way to feel more connected and more in control. It’s a practice that’s helped me immensely in body mapping for emotional awareness and I hope it can help you too.

Research:

1. The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk:

• Van der Kolk’s work delves into how trauma impacts both mind and body, emphasizing the physical manifestations of unprocessed emotions. His insights into the mind-body connection and how trauma is physically held in the body are transformative for understanding how we process emotions. You can explore more about his research and insights here on his official site and through a summary on The Marginalian  .

2. Thermal Mapping Study by Aalto University:

• This 2013 study explored how different emotions are associated with specific regions of the body, helping validate the notion that emotions can manifest as physical sensations. The study used thermal maps to show that, for example, anger often causes sensations in the upper body, while sadness can cause a decrease in sensations in the limbs. You can find a detailed overview of the study in the journal Emotion here.

3. Yoga and Mental Health:

• A 2016 study published in Complementary Therapies in Medicine examined the mental health benefits of yoga, revealing its efficacy in reducing stress, anxiety, and depressive symptoms. This research highlights yoga’s role in helping individuals reconnect with their bodies to release tension and promote emotional well-being. More details on this study can be accessed via ScienceDirect.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome for High Achievers

Impostor syndrome: it’s a term that feels all too familiar for so many of us. It’s that voice that questions our worth, our skills, and our belonging, no matter how much we’ve achieved. For years, I thought I was the only one feeling this way. But then I learned it wasn’t just about my self-doubt. It was part of a much larger system of beliefs that keeps us all questioning ourselves.

Impostor syndrome isn’t just a personal issue. It’s a symptom of larger societal structures that have been around for decades and continue to shape our thoughts and behaviors. By exploring where this concept comes from and understanding the forces behind it, we can start to recognize impostor syndrome for what it is. A conditioned response to systems that were never meant to support us.

What Is Impostor Syndrome? A Brief Introduction

In 1978, psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes coined the term “impostor phenomenon” after studying high-achieving women who felt like frauds despite their accomplishments. These women, many of whom were at the top of their fields, harbored a persistent fear of being “found out.” Initially, Clance and Imes believed that impostor syndrome was primarily experienced by women. But as the phenomenon became more widely recognized, it became clear that anyone—regardless of gender, race, or background—could experience it.

Today, we know that while anyone can feel like an impostor, those from marginalized backgrounds are especially susceptible. This isn’t a coincidence; it’s a reflection of deeper social forces at play.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome for High Achievers: The Roots of Impostor Syndrome

1. Capitalism and the Myth of Meritocracy

At its core, capitalism thrives on the idea of meritocracy—that anyone can rise to the top if they work hard enough. This might sound inspiring, but it’s also incredibly misleading. When we’re taught that success is purely a result of personal effort, we start to believe that any setbacks or struggles are a reflection of our own shortcomings.

For those experiencing impostor syndrome, capitalism’s pressure to constantly prove our worth can be overwhelming. It fuels the belief that no matter how much we accomplish, there’s always a higher standard to meet. This mentality keeps us in a constant cycle of self-doubt. Always striving for more and rarely feeling like we’ve done enough.

When I was leading my first group program, this pressure hit hard. People had paid for it, and I worried daily about whether they would feel like it was worth their investment. It didn’t matter that I had the knowledge and skills to guide them. The capitalist framework whispered, “What if you’re just not good enough?” Despite the program’s success and the positive transformations participants experienced, impostor syndrome told me I had to keep proving myself.

2. White Supremacy and the “Outsider” Experience

White supremacy further compounds impostor syndrome, particularly for people of color, by creating an environment where marginalized individuals often feel like outsiders. This feeling of “otherness” doesn’t just happen by chance. It’s baked into a society where whiteness has long been positioned as the norm and the ideal.

In predominantly white spaces, people of color may feel they need to work harder to prove they belong. When society subtly or overtly communicates that they don’t fit the mold, impostor syndrome flourishes. It says, “You’re only here by mistake,” or “You have to keep performing, or you’ll be found out.”

3. Patriarchy and Gender Expectations

Patriarchy reinforces impostor syndrome, especially for women, by imposing gendered expectations on how we “should” behave. In many ways, women are conditioned from a young age to be modest and humble. To downplay their accomplishments, and to prioritize others’ opinions over their own self-assessment. This conditioning often leads to an internalized sense that they’re never quite good enough.

When I was interviewed on a podcast for the first time, I remember thinking, “Who am I to be here? I don’t have anything unique to share.” That self-doubt wasn’t just about my own insecurities. It was the weight of a culture that’s consistently told women to be small and avoid taking up too much space. Even after the host shared that I’d been one of their most interesting guests, I found myself brushing off the compliment, as though I didn’t deserve it.

Patriarchy reinforces this type of thinking. Particularly for women and non-binary people, making us feel like we’re trespassers in places we’ve worked hard to be.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome for High Achievers: A Tool of Oppression

Understanding how these systems work together to reinforce impostor syndrome is powerful. White supremacy, capitalism, and patriarchy are not isolated. They are interconnected, and together, they create an environment where feelings of inadequacy thrive. When we internalize the beliefs these systems uphold, we end up perpetuating them. Doubting ourselves in ways that keep us from living fully and authentically.

This isn’t just a personal struggle; it’s a form of oppression that keeps us small, isolated, and constantly striving for validation. It convinces us that we must earn our worth and, by extension, distracts us from the ways these systems benefit from our self-doubt.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome for High Achievers: Reclaiming Our Power

What can we do in the face of such pervasive forces? Awareness is the first step. By understanding that impostor syndrome is not an isolated feeling but a product of larger societal structures. We can begin to unhook ourselves from its grip. This awareness helps us recognize that impostor syndrome doesn’t come from a place of personal inadequacy but rather from a culture that profits off our insecurities.

Next, we need to shift the narrative from “overcoming” impostor syndrome to actively rejecting the messages it sends us. The systems that created it will continue to reinforce it, but we can choose to interrupt the cycle. One way to do this is by affirming our own experiences and creating spaces where we support others in doing the same.

Over time, as we unlearn the conditioning of capitalism, white supremacy, and patriarchy, we can replace those voices of self-doubt with ones that celebrate our unique contributions. Yes, it’s a process, and no, it’s not easy. But by challenging the origins of impostor syndrome and reworking the stories we tell ourselves, we begin to dismantle the beliefs that hold us back.

Impostor syndrome may still show up—it probably will. But each time it does, we can remind ourselves that its roots are not in our own lack but in systems designed to keep us questioning our place. And as we start to see those roots for what they are, we’ll find that impostor syndrome loses a bit of its power. We’ll come to realize that we’re not just surviving in spaces that weren’t built for us; we’re creating new spaces where we truly belong.

How to Stop Feeling Stuck – By Choosing Not to Move Just Yet

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on what it means to feel “stuck.” It’s easy to think that being stuck is something to push through as quickly as possible, something to fix or conquer. But what if that’s not always the right answer? I’m beginning to realize that sometimes, staying put and embracing that stuckness can actually lead us to something far more valuable. Clarity about what we really want and what we’re truly capable of.

A few years ago, I had to make the painful decision to leave my role as an ICU nurse. This wasn’t just a job—it was a purpose, a way of life. In the ICU, I had control over every detail, every second, and it felt like the most important thing I could do with my time. But as my health declined, it became clear that I couldn’t continue. My body was telling me that this role, as meaningful as it was, was no longer sustainable. And yet, I struggled to let it go.

After I left the ICU, I carried that sense of control with me. As if holding on to it could somehow keep me tied to that purpose. I found myself drawn to routines, habits, and even thought patterns that kept me in a state of control. Kept wondering why I felt so stuck, and it took me a while to realize that part of me didn’t actually want to move forward. I didn’t want to admit that the life I had built around control and purpose was no longer possible.

When Staying Stuck Is Actually a Gift

Sometimes, when we’re feeling stuck, it’s a sign that we’re pushing ourselves toward something we’re not ready for—or something we don’t truly want. I used to think that moving forward was the only way to grow, but I’ve come to see that staying still can be just as powerful. When I slowed down and sat with the discomfort, I began to realize that my “stuck” feelings were trying to tell me something. I wasn’t meant to continue down the same path.

This period of stagnation gave me the time and space to look more closely at what I was chasing and why. Was I holding onto control out of fear? Was I avoiding the reality that my health had changed, that I was no longer able to live the life I had before? Staying stuck allowed me to pause and reflect, to ask myself whether I was pushing toward something that didn’t align with who I was becoming. In that pause, I could finally hear the truth I had been avoiding.

How to Stop Feeling Stuck: Why We Often Push Toward the Wrong Goals

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we just work harder, if we just keep pushing, everything will fall into place. But sometimes, we’re pushing toward a version of ourselves that no longer exists. For me, staying stuck was a way of protecting myself from acknowledging that I wasn’t the person I used to be. I didn’t want to admit that the life I had known, the purpose I had embraced, was no longer mine to live.

This realization wasn’t easy to come by. It took time, a lot of self-compassion, and a willingness to sit with feelings I had been trying to avoid. But once I allowed myself to stay put, to stop rushing toward something that didn’t fit anymore, I could finally see what my body and mind had been telling me all along: that it was okay to change directions. It was okay to stop pushing and start listening.

Letting Stagnation Lead to Self-Discovery

Instead of forcing myself to get “unstuck,” I began to explore what staying put could teach me. I started asking myself questions about what I actually wanted. What was truly aligned with my values, my health, and my current reality. I allowed myself to explore what was beneath that need for control, and what I found was a desire for safety and certainty. But in trying to force that control, I was actually keeping myself trapped.

When we’re able to embrace staying stuck as a form of self-reflection, we can learn a lot about ourselves. We can begin to recognize the goals we’re chasing out of habit or fear, and we can give ourselves permission to pause and reassess. Maybe we’re not ready for the next step because it’s not what we genuinely want, or maybe it’s simply not the right time. In staying still, we can reconnect with what truly matters and redefine what we’re moving toward to.

How to Stop Feeling Stuck: Embracing Stuckness as a Form of Self-Protection

I’ve realized that staying stuck can be a self-protective choice, a way of giving ourselves space to process and regroup. We often feel the urge to move forward quickly, to make changes, to fix whatever feels wrong. But sometimes, staying where we are is exactly what we need to realign with our own pace. To release the pressure, and to listen to what our bodies and minds are telling us.

In my case, my body was signaling to me that the path I had been on was no longer sustainable. Moving forward without listening to that would have been self-sabotage. By choosing to stay put, I could begin to unpack the old patterns of control that were no longer serving me. I could start building a new path that honored who I am now, not who I was in the past.

The Value of Staying Stuck Long Enough to Understand

So if you’re feeling stuck, I encourage you to consider that it might not be a failure. It might not even be something you need to change right now. Instead, see it as an opportunity to sit with yourself and ask what staying put is teaching you. What are you holding onto, and why? Are you pushing yourself toward something that doesn’t align with who you are today?

Staying stuck doesn’t mean giving up. It means giving yourself time to understand what you truly need and want. It’s an invitation to slow down and to reconnect with your deeper self. When you’re ready to move forward, you’ll do so not because you feel pressured to keep up, but because you’ve taken the time to understand what matters. And that kind of movement—grounded in self-awareness and authenticity—is where true freedom lies.

By reframing stagnation as an intentional choice, you’re inviting yourself to be exactly where you need to be. And from that place, the path forward becomes a lot clearer. A lot kinder, and a lot more aligned with who you are meant to be, and learn how to stop feeling stuck.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage? Breaking Free from the Patterns That Hold Us Back

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself overcommitting, not because I need to prove myself, but because I genuinely want to help others. It’s almost automatic for me—I see someone overwhelmed, and I jump in, ready to take on the load myself. It happened recently with a new client who was drowning in administrative tasks. As part of the Stabilize phase of my framework, I offered to step in, help them get back on track, and set up some systems to keep them there.

On paper, this was a perfect plan. It was exactly what the client needed, and it should’ve felt rewarding for me. But the reality? I was the one stressing myself out so they could feel less stressed. And this isn’t the first time I’ve found myself here. Back when I owned a marketing agency, I took on far more than I should have to keep my contractors from feeling overwhelmed. The clients and the contractors were happy, but I was burning out. I’d piled everyone’s needs on my own shoulders, thinking I was doing the right thing.

Looking back, I realize these were classic examples of self-sabotage. By constantly overcommitting, I was blocking myself from creating a balanced, sustainable life, and I didn’t even see it happening. Self-sabotage often shows up just like that—sneaky and subtle, disguised as something positive until it wears us down.

So, why do we do this? Why do we seem to instinctively work against our own best interests? It turns out there’s some solid science behind self-sabotage and, thankfully, what we can do to stop it. But first, let’s dig into the ways we self-sabotage—because the more familiar we get with these patterns, the easier it is to catch ourselves before we stumble.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage? – The Science of Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage typically boils down to three core psychological drivers: fear, comfort-seeking, and cognitive dissonance. Each of these can drive us to unconsciously choose actions that keep us from reaching our goals or living our best life.

1. Fear is a major player. Our brains are wired to avoid anything that could put us in danger, but in modern times, that “danger” is often anything that feels emotionally uncomfortable. Fear of failure, success, rejection, or even fear of the unknown can lead us to self-sabotage just to stay within the safe boundaries of our comfort zone.

2. Comfort-Seeking is another major factor. The brain loves predictability and certainty, even if it’s not good for us. The familiarity of certain self-sabotaging behaviors—like negative self-talk or procrastination—can make them almost comforting because they’re predictable. We know what to expect, even if it doesn’t feel great.

3. Cognitive Dissonance occurs when our beliefs about ourselves don’t match our actions or goals. If we don’t truly believe we deserve success or happiness, we might unconsciously engage in behaviors that “prove” our limiting beliefs to be true. This creates a cycle of sabotage that can feel incredibly difficult to break out of.

When we bring awareness to these patterns, we’re actually giving ourselves the opportunity to stop them in their tracks. Awareness allows us to step back, evaluate, and choose differently. This is where the magic of breaking the cycle begins.

Now, let’s dive into five of the most common ways we self-sabotage and what it looks like to be aware of them when they show up.

1. Negative Self-Talk and Limiting Beliefs

We’ve all got that little critic in our heads. For some of us, it sounds like, “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never succeed,” or “I don’t deserve happiness.” These thoughts often stem from past experiences or old wounds, but our brains hold onto them like survival tactics. There’s this sneaky thing called the negativity bias, which means we’re more likely to focus on negative information or outcomes than positive ones. Evolutionarily, this bias helped our ancestors stay alert to danger, but today, it often fuels negative self-talk that holds us back.

Awareness tip: The next time you catch yourself in a cycle of negative thoughts, pause and ask, “Whose voice is this?” Often, it’s not our own but the echo of someone else’s words or society’s pressures. When you recognize that, you’re in a position to challenge it and create a new narrative.

2. Procrastination and Avoidance: Why DO We Self-Sabotage?

Procrastination is like the Houdini of self-sabotage. When we procrastinate, we’re often trying to avoid something unpleasant—fear, anxiety, or even the possibility of failure. Psychologically, it gives us an excuse if things go wrong: “I would have done better if I hadn’t waited until the last minute.” This form of self-sabotage is connected to our brain’s immediate gratification bias, which favors short-term rewards (like binge-watching) over long-term goals (like finishing a project).

Awareness tip: If you find yourself avoiding something, ask, “What am I afraid of right now?” Naming your fear takes away some of its power. Then, break the task into tiny steps. Tackling a small piece can feel less overwhelming and build momentum.

3. Perfectionism and Overthinking

Perfectionism can seem like a virtue, but it’s often a mask for fear of failure. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves and then feel paralyzed by the pressure. Overthinking is often tied into perfectionism, as we analyze and reanalyze, searching for a perfect solution that doesn’t exist. Decision fatigue is a real phenomenon here; when we overthink, we exhaust our brain, making it harder to make any decision at all.

Awareness tip: When you notice yourself getting lost in overthinking, ask, “What would I do if I weren’t trying to make it perfect?” Remind yourself that always doing your best doesn’t mean always be perfect, and that mistakes are part of growth.

4. Self-Medicating and Numbing Behaviors

We all have coping mechanisms, and some of them can be helpful. But when we use things like food, alcohol, social media, or even work to numb ourselves, it’s often a form of avoidance. Our brains crave dopamine, and numbing behaviors give us a quick hit. However, they also create a feedback loop where we end up feeling worse afterward, which makes us more likely to reach for the numbing behavior again.

Awareness tip: When you feel the urge to numb out, ask yourself, “What am I trying to avoid?” Try to sit with the discomfort, even if it’s just for a few moments. It’s okay if you still need the numbing behavior afterward, but acknowledging the feeling is the first step in breaking the cycle.

5. Overcommitting and Taking on Too Much

Overcommitting can look like the opposite of self-sabotage, but it’s often a way to avoid facing our own needs. If we’re constantly focused on others, we don’t have time to confront what’s happening within us. It can also come from a desire to be liked or validated, so we say yes to everything to prove our worth. However, this habit can lead to burnout and prevent us from making meaningful progress in our own lives.

Awareness tip: When you feel the urge to say yes, pause and ask, “Why am I committing to this?” If it’s out of obligation or fear of disappointing someone, consider saying no. Remember, saying no to others is often a way of saying yes to yourself.

Why Do We Self-Sabotage? – The Power of Awareness in Breaking the Cycle

When we become aware of these self-sabotaging habits, something shifts. Neuroscientists have found that awareness actually changes the brain, specifically in the prefrontal cortex, where decision-making happens. When we recognize our patterns, we engage this part of the brain, making it easier to choose a different path. The more we practice awareness, the more we build new neural pathways that make it easier to break the cycle of self-sabotage.

It’s not about never self-sabotaging again—that’s unrealistic. Instead, it’s about recognizing our patterns, being gentle with ourselves, and learning to choose differently. Self-sabotage may be our brain’s way of trying to keep us safe, but awareness gives us the power to redefine what “safe” looks like. It’s about creating a life that doesn’t just feel comfortable but also aligned, fulfilling, and free.

Remember, these patterns didn’t form overnight, and they won’t disappear overnight either. So, give yourself grace, take small steps, and keep showing up. Each moment of awareness is a moment of growth, and that’s where the real magic happens.

Read the Part 1 here

Read the Part 2 here

Sustainable New Year’s Resolutions: this is the missing piece of the puzzle

If you’ve ever found yourself abandoning your resolutions by February, you’re not alone. These sweeping, all-or-nothing changes are often too much for our nervous system to handle.

The problem isn’t a lack of willpower—it’s that drastic changes create a spike in stress and can leave us feeling overwhelmed. When we set resolutions that hinge on complete overhauls, our nervous system responds with a heightened state of alertness, triggering a stress response that can undermine our efforts. To truly create sustainable change, we need a different approach—one that aligns with how our brains and bodies are wired. Enter: course corrections.

Why Overhauls Fail (And Why They Trigger Our Stress Response)

To understand why overhauls often fail, it helps to look at how our nervous system works. When we set a resolution to make a significant change, our brains sense a threat to the status quo. Imagine you’ve committed to waking up two hours earlier every day. For a body accustomed to a later wake-up, this is a jarring shift. Your nervous system recognizes that something unfamiliar is happening, and it springs into action to protect you from this perceived threat.

The amygdala, the brain’s “alarm center,” detects this change and initiates a stress response. Cortisol and adrenaline surge, preparing you for a fight-or-flight reaction. In the context of our day-to-day lives, this stress response translates to feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and resistant to change. Instead of seeing progress, we often feel defeated because the new habit feels too challenging to maintain. Over time, this stress can lead to burnout, and we’re left wondering why our resolution failed once again.

Sustainable New Year’s Resolutions- The Power of Course Corrections

What if we approached our resolutions with the idea of making small, gradual shifts rather than massive overhauls? Course corrections allow us to adapt in ways that feel more aligned and manageable. They give our nervous system time to adjust, helping us make progress without triggering a stress response. Instead of forcing ourselves into an abrupt lifestyle change, we can make tiny adjustments that accumulate over time, leading to meaningful, sustainable transformation.

Think of course corrections as small changes in direction. Imagine you’re steering a ship across the ocean. A minor shift in the course won’t seem like much at first, but over time, that slight change can lead you to an entirely new destination. This approach is powerful because it’s gentle on the body and mind. By making small adjustments, we can gradually align ourselves with our desired outcomes without overwhelming our nervous system.

Let’s look at how course corrections can reshape some of the most common New Year’s resolutions.

Common Resolutions & Course Correction Alternatives

1. Resolution: “I’m going to exercise every single day.”

Why it fails: Committing to daily exercise from the start can feel like a lot, especially if you’re not currently exercising regularly. The idea of a sudden increase in activity can create anxiety and dread, which activates the stress response and may lead to burnout.

Course Corrections:

• Start with 5-10 minutes of movement three days a week. This could be stretching, a short walk, or some gentle yoga. Focus on the habit of getting moving, rather than a specific workout.

• Add one more day of movement each week or increase the time by 5 minutes each week. Gradually build up until you reach your desired frequency and duration.

• Track how your body feels after each movement session. Note any shifts in mood or energy, as this can help reinforce the benefits and build motivation naturally.

2. Sustainable New Year’s Resolutions: “I’m going to completely overhaul my diet.”

Why it fails: Going from one way of eating to a drastically different diet overnight can create cravings, frustration, and resistance. When we try to eliminate foods we love or make a major shift, our bodies and brains can feel deprived, which increases the likelihood of reverting to old habits.

Course Corrections:

• Add more vegetables or whole foods to one meal each day. Start by focusing on adding rather than taking away. This simple shift makes the transition feel less restrictive and more nourishing.

• Experiment with one new recipe a week that aligns with your desired eating habits. This keeps the change exciting and gives your palate time to adjust.

• Listen to your body’s hunger and fullness cues before and after meals. Practice mindful eating as a way to gradually shift your relationship with food without creating unnecessary stress.

3. Resolution: “I’m going to spend an hour each day learning something new.”

Why it fails: Committing to an hour of study or learning every day can be daunting, especially if you already have a busy schedule. The pressure to carve out time can lead to frustration and may cause you to abandon the goal altogether.

Course Corrections:

• Start with 10-15 minutes a few times a week. Choose a book, podcast, or online course that genuinely interests you. By keeping it short, you’re more likely to stick with it and gradually increase your curiosity.

• Incorporate learning into existing routines. Listen to an audiobook during your commute, or watch a short educational video while you’re winding down in the evening.

• Reflect on what you’ve learned once a week. Take a few moments to jot down insights or questions that came up, helping reinforce the learning process without the need for a strict daily commitment.

Sustainable New Year’s Resolutions

Now that we’ve explored the concept of course corrections, let’s consider some New Year’s resolutions that focus on expanding into something more aligned, rather than “fixing” ourselves. Here are a few ideas, each with suggested course corrections to help you manage the chaos of the upcoming year:

1. Resolution: “I’m going to prioritize my mental health.”

Instead of a rigid plan, consider integrating moments of calm and mindfulness throughout your day.

Course Corrections:

• Begin a 5-minute daily mindfulness practice to reconnect with yourself. Start small, such as breathing exercises or a short guided meditation.

• Check in with your emotions once a day. Pause for a moment to acknowledge how you’re feeling, without judgment. This simple habit builds emotional awareness and helps prevent stress from accumulating.

• Add one self-care activity each week that brings you joy or comfort. This could be anything from a walk in nature to a hot bath or creative activity.

2. Resolution: “I’m going to spend more time connecting with loved ones.”

Rather than making a sweeping commitment, start with small, meaningful ways to enhance your connections.

Course Corrections:

• Send a thoughtful message or make a phone call to one person each week. This small step helps maintain relationships without adding pressure.

• Plan a monthly gathering or outing with family or friends. Setting aside time for connection can be manageable and gives you something to look forward to.

• Express gratitude to someone in your life once a week. Letting people know you appreciate them strengthens bonds and creates a positive cycle of connection.

3. Resolution: “I’m going to explore a new hobby or passion.”

Allow yourself to be curious and open to learning without the pressure of mastering a new skill immediately.

Course Corrections:

• Try one new activity each month. This keeps things exciting and manageable, while allowing you to discover what resonates.

• Dedicate a short block of time weekly to engage with this new hobby, even if it’s only 15-20 minutes. The focus is on enjoyment, not productivity.

• Share your experiences with others. Whether it’s talking to a friend about what you’re trying or joining an online community, sharing helps reinforce your commitment and opens up new perspectives.

Moving Forward with Sustainable New Year’s Resolutions

With these course corrections, you can approach the new year with a sense of curiosity, adaptability, and persistence. Instead of overhauling your life, focus on aligning with your values and making small shifts that create lasting change. As you navigate the upcoming year, let these sustainable resolutions be a reminder that growth doesn’t require a complete transformation—sometimes, it’s the small, steady changes that make the biggest difference.

Read the Part 1 here

Read the Part 3 here

Find Your Focus for the Year 2025: A Guided Lesson with Journal Prompts

In a world that often feels overwhelming and constantly buzzing with opinions, it can be easy to lose sight of what we truly want. We’re influenced by society, family, friends, and even the stories we tell ourselves based on learned beliefs and expectations. But taking the time to uncover what you genuinely desire for the upcoming year can set you on a path that feels aligned, intentional, and fulfilling.

Too often, New Year’s resolutions fall flat because they come from a place of obligation rather than authenticity. Instead of focusing on external outcomes, let’s look at creating an identity goal — a way to align who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve. This means we’re not just working toward something for 2025; we’re setting the stage for a life that feels like home.

Why Choosing a Word for the Year Matters:

I used to think that choosing a word for the year was some millenial/gen Z crap thing along with vision boards that I just didn’t really get – even as a millennial. But the last few years I’ve tried it, and especially this past year it has made ALL the difference.

Last year I chose the word: Patience. 

I don’t hide the fact that I’m a high achiever and I like to push myself. But at the same time, my disabled body and multiple chronic illnesses make it hard to sustain that. 

So this year, instead of pushing forward and driving myself into the ground energy-wise, I choose patience. Allowing things to unfold, releasing some of the pressure, and to just…well…be.

It wasn’t until June that I realized what just ‘being’ really meant (and how awesome it feels). But having the reminder of the word patience on my phone wallpaper made all the difference when I was starting to feel my Inner High Achiever setting expectations for myself that I didn’t have the time, energy or mental whitespace for.

Let’s dive into a step-by-step journey to uncover what’s calling you forward and decide on your word for 2025. With each step, you’ll have journal prompts to reflect and realign, helping you discover what really matters to you.

Step 1: Quieting the Noise to Find Your Focus For the Year

We live in a world full of noise: societal expectations, familial pressures, and our own self-imposed narratives. Before setting any goals, we have to get clear on where these influences might be creeping in and cluttering our intentions.

Journal Prompts for Quieting the Noise:

1. What are some common themes I hear from society, family, or friends about who I should be or what I should want?

2. Where have I followed others’ paths instead of my own in the past? How did that feel?

3. Who am I when no one is looking?

4. What are the beliefs I’ve internalized about success, happiness, or fulfillment? Do they still serve me?

Reflecting on these questions allows you to identify patterns and recognize where outside voices might be guiding your decisions. It’s only by quieting this noise that you can start to hear your own voice.

Step 2: Tuning into What Truly Matters

Once you’ve stripped away the noise, it’s time to ask yourself what you want from the heart. This is where we start setting the foundations for your identity goal. Rather than aiming for surface-level achievements, we’re looking for what fulfills you on a deeper level. This will help you establish a guiding word for the year—something that serves as a compass as you navigate each new day in 2025.

Journal Prompts for Tuning into What Matters:

1. What experiences, moments, or feelings do I want to cultivate more of in 2025?

2. What are the things that bring me a sense of peace, joy, or purpose?

3. When I imagine a fulfilling life, what do I see myself doing? Who am I with? What am I doing?

4. If I had to choose one word to describe how I want to feel in 2025, what would it be?

Allow yourself to go deeper here. Don’t worry about how “big” or “small” your aspirations seem. Just tune into what feels right for you.

Step 3: Defining Your Identity Goal

An identity goal is about becoming, rather than just achieving. It shifts the focus from “what do I want to get?” to “who do I want to become?” Think of this as your true north for 2025—a guiding vision of who you’re stepping into as the year unfolds.

Journal Prompts for Defining Your Identity Goal:

1. What kind of person do I want to be by the end of 2025?

2. What are the qualities, traits, or values that feel essential to embody in the upcoming year?

3. What habits or actions will support this version of myself?

4. Who inspires me? What about their qualities or behaviors can I learn from or adopt?

After reflecting, start to notice a theme. This theme becomes the heart of your identity goal. For instance, if your answers revolve around connection, your goal may be to become someone who nurtures and deepens their relationships.

Step 4: Choosing Your Word for 2025 to Find Your Focus For the Year

With a clearer vision of your identity goal, it’s time to choose a word that captures this essence. Your word becomes a guiding principle that you can come back to in moments of doubt, decision-making, and reflection throughout the year. It’s a simple yet profound reminder of the person you’re working toward becoming.

Journal Prompts for Choosing Your Word:

1. What is one word that captures the essence of my identity goal?

2. How does this word make me feel? Does it inspire me?

3. When I imagine myself embodying this word, what does my life look like?

4. How can I anchor this word into my daily routines or surroundings to keep it front of mind?

Choosing your word is a highly personal and intuitive process. There’s no right or wrong answer here—just go with what resonates and feels aligned with your heart.

Step 5: Mapping Out Your Course Corrections

The last step is all about taking small, intentional steps that bring you closer to your identity goal. These aren’t big overhauls but gentle course corrections that allow you to move toward your vision with ease and sustainability.

Journal Prompts for Mapping Out Course Corrections:

1. What small daily or weekly actions can I take that reflect my identity goal?

2. How can I adjust my environment, routines, or habits to support my word for the year?

3. What might I need to let go of, shift, or reprioritize to honor my word?

4. How can I celebrate my progress and acknowledge these changes, no matter how small?

These prompts guide you to set a plan that aligns with the person you want to become rather than adding extra tasks to your to-do list. The beauty of course corrections is that they’re flexible and adaptable—they allow you to move with intention, not pressure.

Find Your Focus For the Year: Embracing Your Word for 2025

As you step into 2025, let this process be a reminder that you’re capable of shaping your life in a way that feels true and fulfilling. Your word, your identity goal, and your course corrections will serve as a gentle framework to guide you through the year ahead.

Take time to check in with yourself, make adjustments, and remember that it’s okay to grow at your own pace. You’re not here to live up to anyone else’s expectations. You’re here to become more of who you truly are and to find focus for the year.

Read the Part 2 here

Read the Part 3 here

Celebrating Our Journey: A Year-End Reflection Ritual

As the year draws to a close, it’s natural to turn our thoughts to the future. For many, that means resolutions—new goals, changes we want to make, habits we hope to leave behind. Resolutions are valuable, yes, but they often carry an unspoken assumption: that who we are now isn’t quite enough. They imply that to start fresh, we need to “fix” ourselves in some way.

But what if we tried something different this year with a year-end reflection ritual? What if, instead of jumping right into the mindset of self-improvement, we took a moment to recognize what we’ve already accomplished? To reflect on the chaos we’ve survived, the lessons we’ve learned, and the curiosity, adaptability, and persistence that have carried us through? These qualities don’t always get the recognition they deserve, yet they play a vital role in our ability to navigate life’s challenges.

Taking time to reflect on these strengths can create a positive foundation from which to grow. When we acknowledge our capacity to adapt, our openness to explore, and our ability to keep moving forward, we reinforce a sense of purpose and presence that transcends the pressures to “fix” ourselves. So, before you dive into the familiar cycle of resolutions, I invite you to pause. Take just 15 minutes for this ritual, designed to help you honor the path you’ve walked and cultivate gratitude for all you’ve experienced.

A Simple Ritual for Reflection & Celebration

This ritual combines quiet reflection with a few simple activities to help you acknowledge and celebrate your journey through this past year. You’ll need a quiet space, a candle, a journal, and a pen. Think of it as a moment just for you—a time to honor the past, rather than racing ahead to the next goal.

Step 1: Setting the Scene

• What you’ll need: Choose a candle with a calming scent, like lavender, sandalwood, or your favorite essential oil. Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably without distractions, and have your journal and pen nearby.

• Purpose: Lighting a candle is a simple yet powerful way to symbolize bringing light into your reflections. As you light the candle, let it represent the warmth, guidance, and inner strength that have carried you through the year. Picture this light as a reminder that even during the most challenging times, you carried your own light forward.

Take a moment here to breathe deeply, letting the act of lighting the candle mark the beginning of this ritual. With each breath, feel yourself settle into this space, knowing that you’re about to honor the past year—not by judging or critiquing, but by celebrating all that you’ve overcome through curiosity, adaptability, and persistence.

Step 2: Guided Meditation (5 minutes)

Begin by closing your eyes and taking a few slow, deep breaths. Allow your shoulders to soften, and feel any tension in your body begin to release.

Visualize yourself sitting under a vast, open sky. The sun is setting on the year behind you, casting a warm, gentle glow over everything. Imagine each month as a wave of color passing by—January, perhaps, is a soft blue, while March is a fresh green. Watch these colors move in front of you, each representing the experiences, lessons, and moments of growth that you lived through.

There’s no need to recall specific events. Just let the colors blend together, forming a beautiful painting—a unique representation of your year. Notice any emotions that come up as you watch these colors unfold. Feel free to let them rise and fall like waves. There’s no need to hold onto them; simply observe.

As you breathe out, release any expectations or judgments about how you “should” have handled things this year. Let go of any attachment to how things might have been different. And as you inhale, welcome in a feeling of gratitude—not just for the joyful moments, but for the challenges too. Let this feeling of celebration fill your heart, spreading warmth throughout your body.

Now, bring one hand to your heart as you sit back and admire your painting of the past year. Feel the steady beat beneath your palm, a reminder that you have continued forward, fueled by curiosity about life, a willingness to adapt, and a quiet persistence that has helped you navigate the unexpected. Allow yourself to feel proud of these qualities.

When you’re ready, open your eyes, bringing with you a sense of calm appreciation for the journey behind you.

Step 3: Journal Prompts (5 minutes)

With this feeling of gratitude and acceptance, take a few minutes to jot down your thoughts. You can use the prompts below to guide you, or simply let your thoughts flow freely. There’s no right or wrong way to do this—just let your heart speak.

1. What is one challenge I navigated this year that I’m proud of?
   Think about a difficult situation that you managed to get through. It doesn’t have to be a big event; even small moments of courage count.

2. How did curiosity play a role in how I handled a difficult situation?
   Reflect on a time when you kept an open mind or allowed yourself to explore options rather than rushing to a solution. What did you learn from staying curious?

3. What is one way I adapted to unexpected changes this year?
   Consider how you adjusted to a new reality, even if it felt uncomfortable at first. How did your adaptability help you move forward?

4. When did I notice my own persistence carrying me through a tough moment?
   Recall a time when you kept going, even when things were difficult. What helped you stay on track, and how did that moment shape who you are now?

Let these reflections fill the pages of your journal. As you write, remind yourself that this isn’t about finding ways you could have done things differently. It’s about honoring what you did, how you grew, and what you’re taking with you from this year’s experiences.

Step 4: Candle Ritual & Affirmation

As you finish writing, turn your attention back to the candle. Watch its flame, letting it symbolize the spark of curiosity, adaptability, and persistence within you. When we think of fire, we often associate it with destruction, but it’s also a source of light, warmth, and transformation. In this moment, let the candle remind you of your ability to transform challenges into growth, to adapt even when the path is unclear, and to move forward with a quiet determination during a year-end reflection ritual.

If you feel comfortable, you can say a simple affirmation aloud, or repeat it silently to yourself. Here’s one to consider:

“I honor my journey and celebrate the curiosity, adaptability, and persistence that have brought me to this moment. I am grateful for my growth and carry this light with me as I move forward.”

Allow yourself to sit with this affirmation, letting its message sink in. Stay as long as you’d like, simply watching the flame and feeling the warmth in your heart.

This isn’t just a year-end reflection ritual

Encourage yourself to take this time whenever you need a reminder of your inner qualities, not just at the end of the year. This simple ritual can become a powerful practice of self-compassion and gratitude, especially in a world that often urges us to focus on what’s missing or what needs to be “fixed.”

In just 15 minutes, you’ve honored your past, acknowledged your growth, and rekindled the light that will guide you into the next chapter. As you move forward, remember that resolutions and goals are meaningful, but celebrating your curiosity, adaptability, and persistence is what truly roots you in the present moment. Embrace this feeling, knowing that you have everything you need within you.

Holiday stress management tips for highly sensitive people

The holiday season can be one of the most stressful times of the year. With Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year’s all just around the corner, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by everything we need to do. Every year, there’s shopping to finish, events to attend, and work responsibilities to manage. Add in family dynamics and you’ve got a recipe for burnout before the season even gets going. That’s why I want to share five ways to manage holiday stress and, ultimately, survive the next few weeks with more ease and calm.

1. Speak Up for Yourself

This is probably one of the hardest but most important lessons I’ve had to learn. Only you know how full your plate is. You know how many events, deadlines, fundraisers, and holiday prep tasks are on your list. No one else has that perspective, and unless you say something, they won’t understand how overwhelmed you might feel.

So here’s the first tip: it’s okay to say no.

And the best part? I recently published a whole list of different ways you can say no! You don’t need to over-explain or apologize. If someone asks for a favor or invites you to just one more holiday event, it’s okay to simply respond with, “No, I can’t.” If you’re like me and feel more comfortable explaining yourself, you could add, “I have too much going on, and I’m really sorry I can’t right now.” But either way, honor your own boundaries. Protecting your time and energy is not selfish; it’s essential.

2. Manage Your Stress Response

One of the most practical ways to handle stress is by managing how your body responds to it. Our bodies work in two modes: stressed or not stressed. You’ve probably heard of the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for our fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses. It’s the part of our brain that ramps up when we’re in danger or stressed out. Our heart beats faster, we breathe more quickly, and our bodies are preparing us to survive – but at the cost of clear, rational thinking.

When you’re in this mode, you’re not going to be thinking about the bigger picture or accessing your calm, objective mind. The opposite of this stress mode is the parasympathetic response – the rest-and-digest side, where our heart rate slows, and we can think more clearly. The fastest way to get your body out of that fight-or-flight state and back into calm mode is through breathing.

When my husband and I lived in Vancouver, I took the SkyTrain to work and had a stressful experience where I found myself on the wrong train, heading toward the wrong city. My stress response kicked into overdrive. But instead of panicking, I focused on my breath. I took slow, deep breaths and calmed myself down enough to figure out what I needed to do next. The same principle applies during the holiday season. Try taking five slow breaths for five seconds in and five seconds out, five times a day – when you wake up, before each meal, and before bed. This small practice will keep your stress response in check, so you can approach the season with more calm.

3. Embrace the Unexpected – Holiday Stress Management Tips for Highly Sensitive People

We all know things don’t always go as planned, especially around the holidays. One year, my mother-in-law booked a family portrait session for the fall in Calgary. The colors were perfect, and the weather was mild – but overnight, we went from fall to a foot and a half of snow! We had two choices: cancel the session and reschedule or embrace the unexpected. We chose the latter, and now I have some of the most memorable family photos, even if the snow angels were a bit funky.

The truth is, life will throw surprises at you during this season, whether it’s last-minute cancellations, changes in weather, or plans going off course. Instead of resisting those moments, embrace them. Sometimes, the unexpected leads to the best memories.

4. Book a Time to Recharge

One of the biggest mistakes I made in my early years of navigating the holidays was packing my schedule too tightly. When my husband and I flew back to Calgary from Kingston, where we were living at the time, we had every minute planned out. We had dinners and events scheduled with both families to ensure everything was “fair.” By the end of that first Christmas, I was completely exhausted, and I knew something had to change.

The next year, we made a point to schedule alone time for ourselves. We booked a dinner just the two of us, went on a Christmas Lights drive without anyone else, and even set aside time for a peaceful walk in a local park. Those little moments of quiet, in the middle of a hectic holiday trip, made all the difference. We didn’t come back feeling drained like we had the previous year. So I encourage you to do the same – book time to recharge between all the family visits and holiday events. Even 30 minutes of quiet can prevent burnout.

5. Keep Things in Perspective

This final point is the most personal for me. When I worked as a registered nurse in the ICU, I often worked over the holidays. One year, I was on shift on Christmas Eve, and my family was celebrating our big Polish dinner that night. I raced home after my 12-hour shift, ready to jump into the chaos of food prep, but what I walked into was overwhelming. People were shouting, pots were boiling over, and it felt like the world was ending – all because dinner was late and the fish was overcooked.

But earlier that day, my team and I had fought for two hours to save the life of an eight-year-old girl who had been perfectly healthy the day before. We did everything we could, but we couldn’t save her. And in that moment of chaos at home, I was struck by how trivial it all felt. The dinner, the arguments – none of it mattered compared to the fact that a family had just lost their daughter on Christmas Eve.

There’s a song by Sara Bareilles, one of my favorite Christmas songs, that goes:

“I don’t care if the house is packed or the strings of light are broken
I don’t care if the gifts are wrapped or there’s nothing here to open
Love is not a toy and no paper can conceal it.
Love is simply joy that I’m home.”

That lyric became my mantra that year. As we head into the holiday season, it’s important to keep things in perspective. Yes, there will be stress, things will go wrong, and not everything will be perfect. But at the end of the day, what matters most is the love we share with the people around us. No season can contain that.

Holiday Stress Management Tips for Highly Sensitive People

This holiday season, I invite you to try out these five strategies. Speak up for yourself, manage your stress, embrace the unexpected, book time to recharge, and keep it all in perspective. There’s beauty in the chaos – we just have to slow down enough to see it.

5 Breathing Techniques For Stress Relief

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about navigating modern life, it’s this: our minds are constantly being pulled in a million directions. It’s not just the to-do lists, the endless responsibilities, or the state of the world (though all of that plays a huge role). It’s also the constant pressure we feel to perform, to succeed, and to keep up—and it’s exhausting.

And when life feels chaotic, I’ve found one of the simplest yet most profound tools to regain clarity is something as basic as taking a deep breath.

But before breathwork became the trend we see today, its origins are deeply rooted in ancient practices like pranayama. Unfortunately, like so many ancient traditions, breathwork has been whitewashed, repackaged, and sold as a quick fix without a lot of credit given to its true roots.

In Vedic philosophy, pranayama (literally, “control of the life force”) was never just about calming down. It was about connecting to something deeper, an opportunity to regulate not just the body but the mind and spirit as well. Breathwork was, and still is, a sacred practice to access higher states of awareness and equilibrium. But to bring this practice into our fast-paced world, we need to reclaim the why behind it.

Why Breath Matters: The Nervous System & Brain Connection

Let’s take a quick detour into science. Our breath is one of the most direct ways to influence our nervous system, specifically the autonomic nervous system, which controls our “fight or flight” and “rest and digest” responses. When we’re in chaos, our sympathetic nervous system takes over, kicking us into that fight or flight mode. It’s our brain’s way of protecting us, even when there’s no real threat—just the weight of everything going on around us.

When we consciously slow down our breathing, we send signals to the body that it’s okay to relax. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system—the part of our body responsible for calming us down. Once that system is engaged, we can start accessing the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that governs logic, reason, and higher-level thinking. In other words, by focusing on our breath, we’re literally turning off the alarm bells in our brain and giving ourselves the space to think clearly.

That’s why breathwork is such a powerful tool. It’s simple, it’s accessible, and it has an immediate effect on calming the mind in the midst of chaos. 

How to Appreciate the Practice Without Appropriating the Practice – 5 Breathing Techniques For Stress Relief

The Flow State Framework that I talk about a lot has three stages: Recover, Optimize, Elevate. This works for both energy management, burnout recovery, as well as navigating the chaos of our modern world. 

Before we can get into the deeper benefits of pranayama breathwork, we have to first allow our nervous system to recover. It’s going to be next to impossible for us to use this ancient practice for increased awareness and a deeper understanding of life, the universe and everything if we’re on high alert.

We have to first allow our nervous system to recover. This is where the pranayama techniques I’m going to share about today can help. However, when we’re only using the pranayama as a quick fix, bandaid solution – we run the risk of appropriating this sacred practice

But when we continue to utilize this practice beyond our initial nervous system recovery – that’s where we can appreciate the practice. That’s where we can really honour its roots.

Now, let’s dive into five pranayama techniques that you can try right away.

5 Pranayama Techniques to Calm Your Mind

These techniques have been around for thousands of years and are an essential part of yogic practices. The beautiful thing is they’re accessible to all of us, no matter our background or experience with yoga. Below, I’ll introduce you to both the Sanskrit names and their modern counterparts, so you can understand both the ancient roots and the practices as they’re known today.

1. Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing)

Nadi Shodhana, often called alternate nostril breathing, is a powerful technique to balance the left and right hemispheres of the brain. It helps calm anxiety, reduce stress, and clear the mind for better focus.

How to do it:

• Sit comfortably and relax your shoulders.

• Using your thumb, close your right nostril and inhale deeply through your left nostril.

• Close your left nostril with your ring finger, release your right nostril, and exhale through it.

• Inhale through the right nostril, then close it and exhale through the left.

Repeat this cycle for several minutes, focusing on the flow of breath.

2. Bhramari (Bee Breath)

Bhramari, or Bee Breath, is an excellent practice for reducing anger, frustration, and anxiety. The vibration produced by the humming sound helps stimulate the vagus nerve, which is key in calming the nervous system.

How to do it:

• Sit comfortably and close your eyes.

• Inhale deeply through the nose.

• As you exhale, make a humming sound, like the gentle buzz of a bee.

• Feel the vibration in your throat and around your head.

Repeat this for 5-7 cycles, noticing the calming effect it has on your mind.

3. Sheetali (Cooling Breath)

Sheetali (Cooling Breath) is perfect for days when you feel overheated, either physically or mentally. It has a cooling, calming effect on both the mind and body, helping to release pent-up stress and bring down your internal temperature.

How to do it:

• Sit comfortably and take a few deep breaths to center yourself.

• Roll your tongue into a tube (if you can’t roll your tongue, simply purse your lips).

• Inhale through your mouth, feeling the cool air on your tongue, then exhale through your nose.

Try this for 5-10 rounds, especially when you need a break from intense emotions.

I have videos for all these kinds of breathing techniques in the Creating Calm app showing you how to do them, as well as having some breathing guides to help you stay on track with the patterns without having to think too much about it.

4. Ujjayi (Ocean Breath)

Ujjayi (Ocean Breath), sometimes referred to as “victorious breath,” creates a soothing, rhythmic sound that resembles ocean waves. This technique helps build heat in the body while also calming the mind and promoting focus. It’s often used in yoga practice to maintain steady breathing during movement.

How to do it:

• Inhale deeply through your nose, slightly constricting the back of your throat.

• Exhale through your nose, keeping that constriction in your throat so your breath creates a soft, ocean-like sound.

Continue this breath for several minutes, focusing on the gentle sound and sensation in your throat.

5. Sama Vritti (Equal Breathing)

Sama Vritti, or Equal Breathing, is one of the simplest but most effective ways to calm the mind. By matching the length of your inhales and exhales, you can quickly bring your nervous system back into balance.

How to do it:

• Sit comfortably and close your eyes.

• Inhale through your nose for a count of four.

• Exhale through your nose for a count of four.

As you continue, try extending the count to six or eight, keeping your breath smooth and steady.

Bringing It All Together – 5 Breathing Techniques For Stress Relief

Incorporating these ancient pranayama techniques into your daily routine can transform how you handle the chaos of modern life. When we slow down our breath, we tap into something much deeper—a natural way to calm the nervous system, shift out of fight or flight, and regain clarity. And as we reclaim these practices, it’s important to honor where they come from, remembering the depth of wisdom embedded in traditions like pranayama.

The next time life feels overwhelming, remember: the power to calm your mind and body is literally within you. Start with a breath.

How to Prioritize Tasks When Everything Feels Important

Does it ever feel like your to-do list is so packed that it’s impossible to know where to start? Like you’re drowning in a sea of priorities, each one as urgent as the next? Yeah, I’ve been there. A lot. In fact, just last night, I found myself staring at my own list, wondering how on Earth I was going to make progress on anything with all of these spinning plates.

Here’s the thing: When everything feels urgent, nothing really is. And that’s when we need to take a step back, breathe, and reassess. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we have to do all the things right now, but that mindset often leads to burnout. Trust me, I’ve lived it. So today, I want to share a framework that’s been helping me organize my projects when I feel like everything is important. This approach helps me step out of that chaotic headspace and focus on what really matters.

The Framework: Urgency, Impact, Ease, Alignment

Last night, I was wrestling with how to prioritize all my projects. Between updating my website, refining my email marketing strategy, developing content for the Creating Calm app, and maintaining my Pinterest strategy, everything felt important. But I knew that trying to tackle all of them at once would lead to burnout, and that’s not where I wanted to go.

Luckily, there’s a framework to help sort the chaos. I broke down this mess of a to-do list using four key factors: Urgency, Impact, Ease, and Alignment. These four simple concepts helped me cut through the noise and get clearer on where to focus. Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Assess Urgency

The first thing to ask is: Are there any hard deadlines or time-sensitive components for any of these tasks? For example, if my app requires updates for a launch, that might immediately jump to the top of the list. Urgency is often the easiest factor to spot—if something needs to be done by a certain time, it’s going to take priority.

Last night, I realized that while I have a lot of projects floating around, not all of them have hard deadlines. My website doesn’t need to be updated by tomorrow, but my email marketing? That’s something that can directly impact my audience engagement now. It helped me realize that I don’t have to do everything immediately, even if it feels like it in the moment.

Step 2: Consider Impact on How to Prioritize Tasks When Everything Feels Important

This step is about figuring out which project will make the biggest difference in your overall goals. What will make the biggest difference or move you closer to where you want to be?

When I looked at my projects through the lens of impact, I started seeing things differently. Sure, updating my website to reflect my new title of Chaos Management Specialist would be cool, but I realized that working on my email marketing would have a more significant impact on my business right now. My emails are where I build connections with my audience, and they directly lead to people signing up for the Creating Calm app. So, while rebranding is exciting, I need to focus on what serves my community. The emails and the Creating Calm App, those had to take precedence.

Step 3: Ease and Energy – How to Prioritize Tasks When Everything Feels Important

Ah, ease and energy. This is such an important one, especially when you’re dealing with fluctuating energy levels, like I do. It’s tempting to think we should always tackle the hardest task first, but sometimes choosing what feels manageable can lead to quicker wins and build momentum.

Last night, when I assessed my energy levels, I realized I didn’t have the bandwidth to dive into a full website overhaul. However, tweaking a couple of email sequences? That felt doable. I also knew that working on my Pinterest strategy wasn’t going to take as much mental energy as developing an entirely new app feature, so it made sense to prioritize the easier tasks when my energy was lower. Sometimes it’s not about pushing through; it’s about being strategic with the energy you do have.

Step 4: Alignment

This one is probably the most subtle but also the most crucial—alignment. Which project feels the most in tune with where you are right now? What excites you or feels like it’s resonating with your current mindset?

Here’s the thing: I’ve been really called to dive deeper into my role as a mentor, especially focusing on chaos management and helping people find calm in their busy lives. So, even though the app development is exciting, updating my website to better reflect this new direction felt more aligned with where I’m heading. It also felt right to focus on Pinterest, where I’ve been gaining a lot of traction lately, instead of spreading myself thin across platforms that aren’t resonating as much with my audience.

Putting It All Together: Organizing the Chaos

So how do you use this framework when everything feels urgent?

1. Write down all your projects. Get everything out of your head and onto paper (or a digital list, whatever works for you).

2. Run them through the Urgency, Impact, Ease, and Alignment filter. Ask yourself:

   • What needs to be done immediately?

   • What will have the biggest effect on your goals?

   • What feels manageable given my current energy?

   • What resonates with me the most right now?

3. Prioritize based on these answers. For me, it became clear that focusing on my email marketing and Pinterest strategy made the most sense. I could make small updates to my website as time and energy allowed, but it didn’t need to be at the top of my list.

4. Be flexible. One thing I’ve learned (and am still learning, to be honest) is that priorities can change. Some days, your energy won’t match what you had planned. That’s okay. This framework isn’t rigid; it’s meant to help guide you, not trap you.

Final Thoughts on How to Prioritize Tasks When Everything Feels Important

In a world where everything feels like a priority, it’s so easy to get caught up in doing too much, too fast. But we don’t have to live like that. By stepping back and reassessing through Urgency, Impact, Ease, and Alignment, we can make thoughtful decisions that help us move forward without burning out.

It’s not about doing everything at once—it’s about doing the right things at the right time. So, the next time you’re staring at your to-do list in panic mode, try applying this framework. You might just find that some things don’t need to be done right now, and that’s okay.

Now, I’m off to update my email sequences—what’s your next move?

Navigating Life Transitions: How to Stay Grounded When Everything is Changing

Life transitions are inevitable. Whether it’s a new job, moving to a different city, the end of a relationship, or even a significant shift in your health, change has a way of unsettling us in ways we don’t always expect. Personally, I’ve had my fair share of transitions Some welcomed, others not so much—and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that staying grounded isn’t about resisting change, but learning how to find your center when everything around you feels chaotic.

The truth is, every life transition—big or small—can feel like standing on the edge of a cliff, looking down into the abyss of what comes next. So how do we stay grounded when everything around us is shifting? How do we find calm in the middle of change? Here are some techniques that have helped me through the most tumultuous times in my life, and I hope they can help you too.

1. Embrace the discomfort, don’t resist it.

One of the biggest mistakes I made early on in navigating change was trying to hold on to what was. Whether it was holding onto a job that no longer aligned with my values or clinging to an identity that I’d outgrown, my instinct was to resist the discomfort of transition.

It’s human nature to want to feel secure and safe. But growth and change often come from discomfort. Instead of resisting that feeling, lean into it. Acknowledge that it’s there, and see it as a signal that you’re moving towards something different—something potentially better, even if you can’t quite see it yet.

When I left my career in the ICU, I struggled with this deeply. For years, that role had defined me. I was a nurse, I knew the ins and outs of patient care, and there was a sense of control in that space that I had grown attached to. Leaving wasn’t just about changing jobs; it was about letting go of a version of myself that felt safe and known. But the longer I resisted the discomfort of leaving, the more stuck I felt. Eventually, I had to acknowledge that discomfort was part of the process, not something to be avoided.

Practice Tip: Whenever you feel that sense of discomfort during a transition, pause and breathe. Place your hand over your heart or on your waist and allow yourself to feel it fully for a few moments. Instead of pushing it away, breathe into it. The goal isn’t to get rid of it, but to let yourself sit with it until it passes—because it always does. This is how to stay grounded during life transitions.

2. Stay connected to your body and Learn How to Stay Grounded During Life Transitions

When things around us are changing, it’s easy to disconnect from our bodies. Stress, anxiety, and uncertainty can all pull us out of the present moment, leaving us feeling untethered and out of control. One of the most powerful ways to ground yourself during transitions is to come back to your body.

For me, Jnana Yoga has been the key to finding that grounded connection. Yoga, especially when practiced without any spiritual or religious undertones, provides a way to connect deeply with your body, to feel its strength, its limits, and its presence in the here and now. The simple act of moving through asanas or focusing on breath work can be enough to remind you that even when everything else feels out of control, your body is still here. You are still here.

During my flare-ups, when my health feels like it’s shifting beneath my feet, I often feel like my body is betraying me. But coming back to my practice—even if it’s just a few minutes of gentle stretching or deep breathing—grounds me in the present moment and reminds me that I’m still in control of how I move through the world.

Practice Tip: Try a grounding yoga pose like Child’s Pose or Legs-Up-The-Wall for a few minutes every day. Focus on your breath and the sensation of your body making contact with the earth. Feel the support beneath you, and remind yourself that even in times of transition, the ground is still holding you.

3. Create small routines and rituals.

When we moved across the country for the first time, I felt incredibly ungrounded. My partner was starting school, and I had moved without a job lined up, which left me feeling unstable and out of control. All the things that had once provided structure in my life—work, community, familiarity—were suddenly gone, and I was left floundering.

This is where establishing small routines and rituals can give you a sense of control and stability. It doesn’t have to be anything grand. Something as simple as starting your day with a cup of tea, journaling for a few minutes, or taking a walk at the same time every day can serve as an anchor when everything else feels like it’s in flux.

These small, intentional routines helped me feel like I had some control during a time that felt excitingly unstable.

Practice Tip: Identify one or two small rituals you can incorporate into your day, especially during times of transition. It could be a morning meditation, journaling your thoughts, or even cooking a meal with full attention. The key is consistency—something to look forward to that reminds you there are still constants in your life.

4. Lean on your support system.

There’s a common tendency during transitions to retreat inward, to try and figure everything out on our own. 

I’ve always been someone who likes to figure things out on my own. But one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned during transitions is that you don’t have to go through them alone. When I started taking medication to support my OCD, I felt conflicted. I had initially seen the medication as a bridge—something to use temporarily until I “figured things out.” But as I started to feel more balanced and grounded, I realized I didn’t actually want to come off it. This was a huge shift in my mindset, and I struggled with the decision.

During that time, I leaned heavily on my support system—friends, my partner, my therapist. They helped me see that choosing to stay on medication wasn’t a sign of failure or weakness; it was simply a way to support myself. I realized that reaching out for support, whether it’s from friends, family, or professionals, is one of the most grounding things you can do during a transition.

Practice Tip: Don’t be afraid to lean on your support system when you’re going through a transition. Call a friend, talk to a mentor, or reach out to a therapist. You don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t have to figure everything out on your own. Sometimes, just knowing someone is there for you can make all the difference.

5. Reframe your mindset.

Transitions, by their very nature, are opportunities for growth. But it’s easy to lose sight of that when you’re in the middle of one. Instead of seeing a life transition as something happening to you, try reframing it as something happening for you.

This doesn’t mean you have to force positivity or ignore the challenges that come with change. Acknowledge the difficulties, but also look for the opportunities. What are you learning? How are you growing? What parts of yourself are being called to evolve in this moment?

I had to reframe my mindset when I started struggling with my health. At first, all I could see was what I was losing. My energy, my ability to do the things I used to do. But over time, I began to see how this transition was teaching me new ways to care for myself, new ways to connect with my body, and new opportunities to rest. It wasn’t easy, but reframing the way I saw my health allowed me to approach it with more grace and less resistance.

Practice Tip: The next time you’re faced with a transition, consider how to Stay Grounded During Life transitions ask yourself: “What is this moment teaching me?” Write down your answer, even if it’s not immediately clear. This simple shift in perspective can help you stay grounded and open to the possibilities that change can bring.

Moving Forward with How to Stay Grounded During Life Transitions

Life transitions are inevitable, but you don’t have to feel completely thrown off course by them. By:

• embracing discomfort, 

• staying connected to your body, 

• creating small rituals, leaning on your support system, and 

• reframing your mindset, 

you can find your center even in the most chaotic of times. Remember, it’s not about avoiding change—it’s about learning to move with it, staying grounded as you navigate the unknown.

And most importantly, be kind to yourself during these times. Transitioning isn’t easy, but with the right tools and mindset, you’ll find that you’re more capable of embracing change than you ever imagined.

I used to believe in balance, particularly when struggling with how to find balance as a highly sensitive person. It was this elusive goal that always seemed just out of reach—a perfect equilibrium between work, rest, social life, self-care, and every other aspect of life. I think for many of us, this idea of balance is drilled into our minds. We’re sold on the idea that if we just manage our time well enough, prioritize properly, and say no when needed, we can have it all running smoothly.

But here’s the thing: it’s a myth.

Balance doesn’t really exist, not in the way we’re taught to think of it especially when considering how to find balance as a highly sensitive person. And chasing it can actually make things worse, leaving us feeling like we’ve failed at something that was never achievable in the first place.

Balance is Just Another Word for Control

I spent years trying to maintain control over everything—my career, my health, my relationships—thinking if I could just get the right system in place, everything would fall neatly into line. I created morning routines, tracked productivity, set boundaries around my work hours, all with the hope of achieving some kind of inner harmony.

But what I really wanted wasn’t balance—it was control. I wanted the chaos to stop, for life to finally feel predictable and steady. But the reality is that life isn’t predictable or steady, and it rarely goes according to plan.

I think about the times when my chronic illness, myalgic encephalomyelitis, flares up and forces me to stop everything. There is no balance in those moments, no perfect system that can accommodate the unpredictability of a body that doesn’t always cooperate. But, surprisingly, things still work out—not because I’ve achieved balance, but because I’ve learned to adapt and be resourceful in the face of uncertainty.

Adaptability Over Balance

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that it’s not balance that helps us navigate life’s challenges—it’s adaptability. Life is constantly shifting, and we’re constantly being asked to pivot. Whether it’s a flare-up that derails a perfectly planned week or unexpected news that throws off your entire day, the key isn’t to try and force things back into some ideal version of balance, but to ride the waves as they come.

I remember when I decided to let go of my ICU nursing career. That was one of the most unbalanced times of my life. Everything felt like it was teetering on the edge of collapse—my identity, my purpose, my health. But there was no way I could maintain balance in that moment. What got me through wasn’t trying to balance all the pieces of my life, but rather learning to let go of control and adapt to what was happening. I learned to allow things to be messy, to not have a clear plan, and to trust that I could handle the unknown.

There’s a deep freedom in giving up on the idea of balance and embracing adaptability. It’s not easy, and I’ll be the first to admit that it’s not my default setting—I still crave control more often than not. But the more I practice adapting to what life throws my way, the less pressure I feel to have everything perfectly in order.

Strength Through Resourcefulness: The Real Superpower

People often talk about resilience like it’s something to be celebrated, a badge of honor for pushing through hard times. But I don’t see it that way. To me, resilience implies survival—enduring because there’s no other choice. And while surviving is important, what has really made a difference in my life is resourcefulness.

Resourcefulness is about being able to tap into your own creativity and find new ways to navigate challenges. It’s about problem-solving in real time, using whatever tools and energy you have at your disposal. It’s not about bouncing back to how things were before but figuring out how to move forward when things don’t go as planned.

I’ve had to be resourceful in countless situations, especially with my health. During flare-ups, when my usual routines are impossible, I don’t just try and survive—I get creative. Maybe that means adjusting how I work, finding new ways to rest, or rethinking what productivity even looks like on that particular day. It’s not always about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about finding ways to move through it with the resources I have right now.

This mindset has shifted how I approach almost everything. When things fall apart, I don’t focus on trying to maintain balance or pushing through. Instead, I ask myself, What can I do with what I have right now? It’s not about just making it through; it’s about crafting new solutions that work for me in the moment.

How to Find Balance as a Highly Sensitive Person: Balance is a Moving Target

Even when life seems relatively calm, balance is always shifting. We’re told that if we find the right routine or formula, we can maintain it. But the truth is, what works today might not work tomorrow. Our needs change. Our priorities shift. What feels like balance one week might feel completely off the next.

For me, this became clear when I tried to create a perfect work schedule for myself. I was excited about structuring my day around specific work blocks and self-care routines. It felt luxurious, like I had finally cracked the code to balancing productivity and rest. But life, as always, had other plans. My health fluctuated, my energy waned, and suddenly that perfect schedule became more of a burden than a solution.

Instead of feeling defeated, I reminded myself that balance is a moving target. Some days, I need more rest. Other days, I’m able to dive into work for longer stretches. The key is flexibility, allowing myself to adapt and adjust based on what I need in the moment rather than sticking rigidly to some idea of balance I’ve imposed on myself.

What Works Instead: Flow, Not Balance

So, if balance is a myth, what works instead?

For me, it’s about flow. Finding a rhythm that works for me in the moment, being flexible enough to shift when things change, and trusting that I can handle the chaos that life throws my way. Flow is different from balance in that it’s not about maintaining some ideal state of equilibrium, but about moving with the natural ebbs and flows of life.

I’ve found this in my practice of Jnana yoga. There’s a deep sense of peace that comes from accepting what is, rather than fighting against it. It’s not about perfectly balancing the mind and body, but about learning to move with the energy that’s present in each moment. Some days, that means being productive and getting things done. Other days, it means resting and allowing myself to recover. And both are valid.

In my garden, I’ve also seen this play out. There’s no perfect balance in nature. Plants don’t grow in some ideal harmony with each other all the time. Sometimes they compete for resources, and sometimes they thrive together. The seasons shift, and with them, the needs of the garden change. It’s not about balance, but about responding to what’s happening in real time. I’ve embraced this mindset in my life too, accepting that things don’t need to be perfectly balanced to work out.

Stop Chasing Balance – How to Find Balance as a Highly Sensitive Person

So, if you’ve been chasing balance and feeling like you’re failing, let me say this: it’s okay. You’re not failing, because balance was never the goal. Life is unpredictable and messy, and that’s not something we can fix with the right schedule or routine.

Instead, focus on building your adaptability. Lean into your resourcefulness. Find your flow and trust that you can navigate whatever comes your way, even if it doesn’t feel perfectly balanced. And remember, just because things aren’t in perfect harmony doesn’t mean they won’t work out.

Balance is a myth. But adaptability and resourcefulness? Those are the real superpowers.